David Letterman Quotes

I know a lot about Judy Garland. She was born in 1922, and I think she died in '69. When I was little, like, when I was 8, I knew all of her husbands' names.

I never wanted to be a Judy Garland.

I loved 'The Wizard of Oz,' and I'm a huge Judy Garland fan, too.

Consider what importance to society the chastity of women is. Upon that all the property in the world depends. We hang a thief for stealing a sheep; but the unchastity of a woman transfers sheep and farm and all from the right owner.

Stop stealing the funeral meats right now, you wee scuggers!" She shouted. The Feegles stopped and stared at her. Then Rob Anybody said: "Socks wi'oot feets?

It is but a poor establishment where there are not many superfluous things which the owner knows not of, and which go to the thieves.

If you give to a thief he cannot steal from you, and he is no longer a thief.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

But my father, a thief in many ways, had robbed me of my concentration.

Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.

A thief is a man in need. A liar is a man in fear.

Thieves for their robbery have authority When judges steal themselves.

Nowadays the thief cannot be distinguished from his victim. Neither has any valuable objects on him.

Not that I was worried about anyone stealing my car. I once had a car thief offer to get me something better for a sweetheart rate.

T'was a thief said the last kind word to Christ. Christ took the kindness and forgave the theft.

What is a man if he is not a thief who openly charges as much as he can for the goods he sells?

Towards gnats and fleas we should show no pity. We would do right to hang petty thieves, petty calumniators, and slanderers.

I suddenly began to realize that everybody in America is a natural-born thief.

Boughs are daily rifled By the gusty thieves, And the book of Nature Getteth short of leaves.

Lists only spell out the things that can be taken away from us by moths and rust and thieves. If something is valuable, don't put it in a list. Don't even say the words.

In the case of scandal, as in that of robbery, the receiver is always thought as bad as the thief.

No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.

One was a book thief. The other stole the sky.

The book thief has struck for the first time – the beginning of an illustrious career.

The difference between a thief and a congressman: When a thief steals your money, he doesn't expect you to thank him.