Scott Ellis Quotes

I can't stand people who try too hard.

I think the thrust of any child is to try to fit in and be part of it. And I can't tell you how many times my humor, you know, what I thought was humor ended up making me the outsider. Like I'd be, I go, 'It's a joke.' And they'd go, 'Well, what was funny?' And they just thought I was insane.

If I hurt someone, if I were to accidentally poke someone's eye out, I would laugh. And then I'd say, 'I'm sorry, I really do feel bad,' but then I'm on the floor rolling.

Someone who's fake is someone who acts one way around their family and their close friends, but once they get out in the public, they're this whole different person.

I'm somewhat socially inept. Slide me between two strangers at any light-hearted jamboree and I'll either rock awkwardly and silently on my heels, or come out with a stone-cold conversation-killer like, "This room's quite rectangular, isn't it?" I glide through the social whirl with all the elegance of a dog in high heels

I have an immature, Homer Simpson-like tendency to giggle when I say the words 'seminal fluids' in public.

People who laugh so heartily at what they themselves have said, when it is not funny, dispense us accordingly, by taking upon themselves the responsibility for the mirth, from joining in it.

I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.

But in my life, in my personality, there is an essence of falseness and insincerity. A thin, fine vapor of fraud hangs always over me and dampens and injures some things in me that I value.

I was too shy to be around real people. It wasn't like old ladies talking to plants.

There is something about conscious tact that is very irritating.

Rosie laughed in a not too reassuring way if you like sane laughter.

Jeremy tried to be an interesting person. The trouble was that he was the kind of person who, having decided to be an interesting person, would first of all try to find a book called How to Be An Interesting Person and then see whether there were any courses available.

Nothing is more disgraceful than insincerity.

People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.

Derek looked around, like he was searching for something to use. Then he stripped off his shirt. I tried not to look away. Not that he looked bad without his shirt. The opposite, actually, which is why...Let's just say friends are really better when they're fully clothed.

Some of my most neurotically fierce bitterness is the result of realizing how untrue people have become.

I've grown to love L.A., but it's the most socially awkward place. All these people have come there not to be something but to pretend to be someone trying to be someone. Even in line for coffee, you're standing with someone who's trying to be so interesting.

Seeing him like this, dressed just for her in so patent a manner, she could not hold back the fiery blush that rose to her face. She was embarrassed when she greeted him, and he was more embarrassed by her embarrassment. The knowledge that they were behaving as if they were sweethearts was even more embarrassing, and the knowledge that they were both embarrassed embarrassed them so much that Captain Samaritano noticed it with a tremor of compassion.

The existence of other people is essentially awkward.

There is but one thing without honor, smitten with eternal barrenness, inability to do or to be,-insincerity, unbelief.

We hated pretentiousness; it was a form of self-hatred.

It was one of those problematic occasions with long silences, sporadic coughs, and people saying isolated things like, "Well, isn't this nice.

And you don't have to care, so don't pretend. Nobody needs a best fake friend.

But the hobbledehoy, though he blushes when women address him, and is uneasy even when he is near them, though he is not master ofhis limbs in a ball-room, and is hardly master of his tongue at any time, is the most eloquent of beings, and especially eloquent among beautiful women.