PAUL GASCOIGNE

I'll tell you the truth: I had a double brandy before the game but, before, it used to be four bottles of whisky. Not any more. I was fine. I had a glass of wine after the game. But it was just a mouthful.

I won player of the year and players' player, two cups and two championship medals, had a great time.

Well, I did know - but I just wanted the day to pass and the next day to come and then I wanted that one to pass. It was a horrible cycle. I felt so close to having to pack the game in.

I take responsibility for myself and what I do now.

I do want to be a manager one day. It might be 10 years, I don't know when.

You learn, right, a lot of people's problems - why they get upset, why they get down, why they turn to drink - is because they can't say one word and it's N-O, no.

But if I wasn't playing, I would drink Saturdays, then Sunday, then Monday. Then I would try and train and it was no good, then have another drink just to pass the day away.

I'm going to do things when they are right for me.

I don't really do pranks any more. I have a laugh in the dressing room here, where it's safe, and the guys don't go to the papers and tell them what I've done.

Hopefully everybody will just let me get on with my life. I'm going to.

I like to help create team spirit in the dressing room. I feel that I've got loads of love to give.

Anyway, how can you sack anyone who still hasn't got a contract. I'll be there for the game and I'll stand behind the dugout giving instructions to the players from there. They will respond to me more than the next manager.

At the end of it, I'll maybe do a coaching badge but I'm not going to get forced into things.

I fought back, got injured again and I had to have another operation. I got down and depressed and I think I was drinking more than I should. Well, I know I was.

If the fans want me out, I'll put my hands up and leave. Like a proper man. I won't make excuses, I'll leave.

I know as a manager you have to abide by the chairman's decisions. But his decisions were this team, that team, this player, that player. The chairman is a control freak.

But then I always wanted to play for Rangers. Man United is a great club and Alex Ferguson is a legend.

I never predict anything, and I never will.

I never refused an autograph, never refused to buy someone a drink. Now I'm learning to say I've got other things on, instead of doing it and wondering why.

The drink? Yes, I've had tough times in my life, especially the last year, regarding my ex-wife, my kids, I nearly broke my neck, I was on death row with pneumonia.

If I want to be a better person for whoever is in my life, I have to learn.

I've had to deal with everything but everyone has helped me, including Sir Alex Ferguson, to get through. George Best was a good friend of mine. We loved each other, we both knew where we were coming from.

I've got a bit of money in the bank. I'm quite comfortable.

I had to accept that I was an alcoholic, that was the main thing. I think you've got to. But I try not say that I'm an alcoholic. I prefer to say that it's a disease I've got.

I am going to continue and bring this club forward. I am Paul Gascoigne the footballer.