I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies.
There's just one thing I can't figure out. My income tax!
It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta
Give me a break - They say taxes are inevitable, like death. At least death doesn't come every year.
Taxes suck. They really stink.
I know that I pay 48 percent of my income to taxes. You know, I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't going just to export war. If it was actually going to help the people of the United States, I would gladly pay more.
What I want to understand is what I am talking about on the stage. What I don't want to understand is what the government is talking about when the government tells me about taxes.
Last time I looked at a [pay]check, I said to myself, 'Who the hell is FICA? And when I meet him, I'm going to punch him in the face. Oh my God, FICA is killing me.'
President Clinton says he looks forward to the day a citizen can call the IRS and get the right answer to a question. I look forward to the day I can call the IRS and get a voice that says, 'Sorry, that number has been disconnected.'
Tax is a big expense. And I wouldn't mind paying taxes a lot less if our politicians knew how to spend the money, but they don't. They waste the money.
We spend millions of hours doing taxes and spend so much money doing our taxes. It should be very simple.
Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.
