Stage Failure Quotes

I don't have any horror stories of trying to start as a comedian and eating it constantly on stage.

I fell through a stage once. I was doing a truly African dance, and all of a sudden, I hit the ground with my foot and went straight through the stage. I guess they didn't have much money, so the floor was kind of rotting.

When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.

I wanted to be Anthony Hopkins and ended up being neither a film star nor having a career on the stage.

When an instrument fails on stage it mocks you and must be destroyed!

You can succeed as a terrible director, but try doing that with stand-up: try being a terrible comedian and getting up on stage. The funny will win out very, very quickly.

I was once fired as opening act for Seals and Crofts because I got loaded and introduced them as Arts and Crafts.

The crushing, pitiful, and frequently just plain risible pathos of an unsuccessful actor/performer's life is well charted.

It was 1976, and I was acting off-Broadway with a pair of Canadians: Victor Garber and Gale Garnett. The play was called 'Cracks,' and Martin Sherman, the man who wrote it, went on a few years later to have a giant hit with 'Bent.' But not this time around. Opening night was a disaster.

A couple of flop plays, a death in the family, and it could all collapse.