Relationship Jokes Quotes

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Why bother with Google when I have a wife who knows everything about everything!

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.

I tend to have a lot of jokes about ex-girlfriends. They always ask me if they will be the subject of a joke, and I always tell them they won't. Unless they do something crazy. They all tend to, so you know where that goes. There are no closed doors. The 'art' will suffer.