Pet Maintenance Quotes

In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.

The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.

I've got four dogs, and I just don't do dog doo. I'm a diva when it comes to that.

Rodents are pests and not pets, and anything that manically runs around a wheel 24/7 and occasionally has 19 babies in the middle of the night should not be brought into the house.

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

Cleaning cat litter is an unpleasant daily chore for me, but the DuraScoop makes it much less unpleasant.

I want to remind people with dogs that they are your responsibility.

Every Saturday we work in the yard, pick up the dog doo, hope that it's hard.

Never buy anything that eats while you sleep.

Most women have jobs that require them to leave the house. A cat is actually a perfect pet. You get the love and companionship of a creature covered in fur, and you don't have to take it for a walk, and it can feed itself. Less maintenance. Surely any man can appreciate the practicality of this choice.

The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.

I clean out the cat tray like everyone else.