Marital Issue Quotes

We are here today because the President suffered a terrible moral lapse of marital infidelity—not a breach of the public trust, not a crime against society. It is a sex scandal …. And when you hear people say, “This is not about sex”—it is about sex.

I think my wife is cheating on me, the only thing the parrot knows how to say is, quick out the window.

There was a pause, static, a muttered "Give me that," by an indignant female. Then the normally quiet reserved Ashlyn was demanding, "Did you just drunk dial my husband?" "Yes, ma'am," Strider said, and the other two finally burst into laughter.

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

I gave you seven children, but now you want to give them back.

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.

I'm a big Eminem fan, so I like listening to him. My wife doesn't, though.

My wife is really unhappy with my agent. But I'm the big winner.

My wife wants me to eat fish; she says it is delicious. But I don't like fish, so that is that.

When a man says, "Get out of my house! what would you have with my wife?" there is no answer to be made.

One day my wife went and saw the accountant and said she's pulling the plug. She said you guys are done. I said, how bad can it be? 10 grand? She said you're not even close. It came out to almost $50,000 in alcohol for two months.

I'm not witch. I'm your wife.

If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third.

I won't sleep until I have resolved an issue with my husband.

Since I've got on the Internet, it's opened a whole world of wasted time for me. My wife says she's an Internet widow.

My husband thinks I'm insane.

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

I made a serious mistake. I should not have been in the company of any woman, not my wife.

After my wife and I were married, we obtained a rescue dog from a family that didn't want her anymore. She was a beautiful Collie/Shepherd mix named 'Precious.' It then came to pass that our first marital 'debate' was whether we should change the dog's name away from the same name used by the wacky villain in 'Silence of the Lambs.'

Let's not forget, I got divorced.

Stop crapping all over my husband.

I think my friends wife has been banging a black guy. Because they just had a baby. And the baby had a hole in it.

I didn't want a divorce but had to because of circumstance.

Suffice it to say Cherie Snodgrass and I were good friends a long, long time ago. After Mr Snodgrass confronted my wife, the friendship ended and my marriage remained intact.

I'm a compulsive buyer. Anything beautiful I see I want. That's how we got the Waldorf Astoria. I told Conrad Hilton, 'I want the Waldorf,' and he bought it. The only problem was I divorced him before the escrow was finished.