Holiday Gift Quotes

A Christmas tree--the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

One of the best Christmas presents I ever got was the globe that I now keep right beside my desk.

I gave my mother a matching set [of mugs] for Christmas, and she accepted them as graciously as possible, announcing that they would make the perfect pet bowls. The mugs were set on the kitchen floor and remained there until the cat chipped a tooth and went on a hunger strike.

No matter what type of Christmas you have, if you woke up and you seen a bike there, you remember it.

I got given a pair of Christmas socks with penguins on. They know you're obviously not going to wear them. I think they do it just to annoy you, to be honest.