Conservatives understand Halloween, liberals only understand Christmas. If you want to control a population, don't give it social services, give it a scary adversary.
Christmas is the antithesis of Thanksgiving. Christmas is pretty much a man-made holiday.
Halloween is fun, but it wasn't always my favorite holiday. I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
If you think Independence Day is America's defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title, hands-down.
What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square. It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, "sup?"
Father's Day just be Mother's Day the sequel.
Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics.
Washington's birthday is as close to a secular Christmas as any Christian country dare come this side of blasphemy.
When you compare Christmas to Hanukkah, there's no comparison. Christmas is great. Hanukkah sucks! First night you get socks. Second night, an eraser, a notebook. It's a Back-to-School holiday!
