Dating Failures Quotes

I don't have the best dating track record.

I try to date, but I take it so seriously. I am bad at having a casual relationship, so I kind of don't.

Just because of that one disastrous blind date she had last year, where the guy turned out to be fifty-nine, not thirty-nine (He claimed it was a typo. Yeah, I’m sure his finger just happened to slip two spaces to the left).

Oh, my dating skills are the worst. No, I pick the wrong men; it's amazing. I am awful, the worst dater.

I try not to date musicians. It's all I've dated. Every guy I've dated is a musician. Obviously, it's not working.

Being sad and going out on terrible dates and having horrible breakups and then having a shitty job and then quitting the shitty job and then wondering if you shouldn't have quit the shitty job and then getting a new shitty job that you get fired off of after six weeks, it's all so good for your writing.

I always thought of Caesars as the gold standard. I had exactly one date in high school, and my father knew someone who got us comped here for the Sammy Davis Jr. show. We heard 'Candy Man,' 'Mr. Bojangles' - the whole list. And then my date and I went off to the dance - homecoming, I think - where she pretty much ignored me.