A friendship between a man and a woman was what you called it when one had been pursuing the other for a long time and never gotten anywhere.
When I was 20, I went to Paris and tried to meet French women. It didn't work.
I didnt go to the high school prom. Couldn't get a date.
Normally, I'm good at first dates, 'cause that's the only date I ever have, so I know how to control it and be confident.
I’ve never met anyone who made it with a chick because they owned a Tom Waits album. I’ve got all three, and it’s never helped me.
I tried to use Tinder. It didn't work.
I couldn't get a date, but I couldn't be quite sure how unattractive I'd become. I was still friendly; I made jokes, and in my mind, if I saw a woman smiling at me... I still had a chance. I did not.
There are few things more disconcerting than realizing the first date you thought went so well was in fact a dud.
