Contraceptive Failure Quotes

Here's the best birth control in the whole world, if you really, if you have no pills, if you have no diaphragm, if you have no other form of contraception. Use it for ladies, if he comes at you with that little thing in his hand, just laugh at it. They can't deal with it, OK, it'll be gone.

I was in graduate school. I had a birth control accident and went to get the morning after pill.

The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It's the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.

I think the Americans fished out the same condom but found it had too many holes in it.

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work.

I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.

Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.

In our culture, the shame about accidental pregnancy is inextricable from the shame about having had sex. That disapproval of sex is one reason our record with contraception is so poor. If you're not supposed to be sexual, you don't plan for sex. You cross your fingers and hope for the best.

I was sued by a woman who claimed that she became pregnant because she watched me on television and I bent her contraceptive coil.