amusing anecdote Quotes

The joke is the purest, most essential form of storytelling. Every word has to count.

Think of the funniest story from your life. Chances are, it was something awful at the time.

When I started driving our old four-door green DeSoto, I always took Skip on my trips around town. I would get Skip to prop himself against the steering wheel, his black head peering out of the windshield, while I crouched out of sight under the dashboard. Slowing the car to ten or fifteen, I would guide the steering wheel with my right hand while Skip, with his paws, kept it steady. As we drove by the Blue Front Café, I could hear one of the men shout: "Look at that ol' dog drivin' a car!"

True story - When 'Candyman' first came out, my daughter and I were Christmas shopping, and people were harassing us. Finally my daughter puts down her shopping bag and said 'That's not Candyman! That's my dad!' I will never forget that, because that's when we really bonded.

A good joke will sell quicker than a good poem, and, measured in sweat and blood, will bring better remuneration.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

My dog Jake ran up to Dolly Parton, and he put his nose up her skirt. We were like, 'Oh my God, don't do that.' I didn't know Dolly, and she said, 'Watch out there little doggie, don't start something you can't finish.'

Here's what I really love: I love a funny story that I can tag a serious line on the end of.

Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks.

I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.

Actually, the animal pictures came about in a funny way.