Jamie Zawinski Quotes

There are plenty of good-looking women out there. Go get them.

Don't use a pick-up line.

You can't go up to girls and start talking about minor 7ths and expect to pull. It's not going to work.

Anyone can sleep with a guy in 24-48 hours, but you're sending the wrong signal to the guy if you do that.

I'm a bad dater. I'm the most socially awkward person, like carrying on conversations and stuff.

Anyway, since when are you shy? Just talk to him already!' ' 'And say what? Nice fiddling, handsome man?' 'Absolutely.

Decide that you like college life. In your dorm you meet many nice people. Some are smarter than you. And some, you notice, are dumber than you. You will continue, unfortunately, to view the world in exactly these terms for the rest of your life.

It was actually pretty cool to be in Pittsburgh for those four years. I moved into the dorms and had a pretty normal college experience, even though it was in my hometown. I really thrived there. I feel like it really suited me and served me well in terms of how I grew up there.

If you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation.

In talking to girls I could never remember the right sequence of things to say. I'd meet a girl and say, Hi, was it good for you too? If a girl spent the night, I'd wake up in the morning and then try to get her drunk.

I'm so terrible. When it comes to talking to women, I'm the worst. I don't know what to say. I come over very, very geeky.

Don't be shy. Go for it and ask your crush out.

The future of our relationship hinged on advice from a fifteen-year old girl, a probably untrue story from a one-eyed Chihuahua trainer, and me unromantically – yet skillfully – kissing you on top of silverware and china?

Between 9 and 10 AM the American radio is concerned almost exclusively with love. It seems a little like ending breakfast with a stiff bourbon.

By the way, my name's Rose Hathaway. I'm seventeen years old, training to protect and kill vampires, in love with a completely unsuitable guy, and have a best friend whose weird magic could drive her crazy. Hey, no one said high school was easy.

She had always thought applying to college would be exciting. Living away from home, meeting so many new people, Learning new things, making a few poor life desicisons.

No-strings relationships have helped cure me of love addiction. All my life I've been in long-term monogamous relationships. I had to break that pattern by not allowing myself to have a relationship for a year, stopping myself from committing to men. I haven't been celibate. I've had lots of dates and lots of sex, but I haven't been pushing to turn a date into a relationship. This has been a huge thing for me.

You never have to buy an issue of Cosmo again to be the 'Best Lover He's Ever Had.' Just remember this phrase: 'Oh my goodness, I don't know if that will fit.' Then start mentally picking out jewelry.

For me writing is so perplexing, because if we were playing ping pong and we weren't writing - twenty years later you'd be just so much better at ping pong and this confidence with ping pong.

Don't kill the messenger, but I'm think you should change your dating profil to balding." -- Paris to William

There is a video out now on how to please men. Here's tip number 1: Just show up!

There are three ways you can get along with a girl: one, shut up and listen to what she has to say; two, tell her you like what she's wearing; and three, treat her to really good food...If you do all that and still don't get the results you want, better give up.

The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right?... That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand.

I never expected to leave college early-especially after just one year.

Dancing is very important nowadays. No girl will look at you if you can't dance.