Iyanla Vanzant Quotes

It took me ages to grow into being a woman, into being happy with it.

In their 20s, women try to be somebody they're not and try to turn themselves into something different. Now I'm in my 30s; I'm very happy with who I am.

In my twenties, I was obsessed with what other people thought of me. In my thirties, it's about my children, my husband, my work. In my forties, it's going to be about me, and I shan't care what anyone else thinks. I can't wait!

I wish I was 100 percent confident in my own skin. It's always a process, but getting older, I've become more confident.

When you hit your 40s, you're walking around, and you realize, 'Oh, my God, men don't look at me anymore.' Or sometimes you can feel really good, and then you look in the mirror, and you're like, 'Oh, Jesus, that's my face now!' But I have tell you that something happened and shifted inside of me.

I'm proud that today, at 43 years old, I've come to value the aging process and focus on inner rather than outer beauty.

I think I'm happy with who I am. I don't know if I learned that from other girls or just people in general.

In the past I'd always felt like 'the girl' in the show or the movie. On 'Friday Night Lights' there were a bunch of girls, and I was the woman. Initially there was a little struggle with my identity around that. But now there's a sense of ease.

We all wait for a mirror to show us who we are, to validate us. When we hear something about ourselves that we have never heard before, it feels like a blessing, and it gives power.

In my 20s, it was very hard to go, 'I'm heavier than that girl.' Getting older makes a huge difference.

As a female and someone who's young, I'm still coming into my own, and I still have struggles. I know how I look; I know what my flaws are - I don't need anybody to tell me that.

I still feel like a girl. I don't quite feel like a woman. I'll probably be 90 and feel like, 'Not a woman yet!'

Even when I'm older, I might be in a different head space, but I want to be able to go back to 'True 2 Myself' and remember this season. It's really for me.

Young women look at me and think, 'She's really confident. She has always had it figured out,' but actually, I really, really haven't. That has come over time as I became a young woman.

I've grown and I've matured, and I kind of like that.

The better you understand yourself the less cause you will find to love yourself.

I started to like my voice - the sound of it. So then I started to listen to it as something separate. To me, it sounded good that way as well.

Women who start out as ugly ducklings don't become beautiful swans. What they mainly become is confident ducks. They take charge of their lives.

There's so much to becoming a woman.

I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can make you feel is better than any therapist, because when you look in the mirror, you see a different person - you are a different person. It's superficial change that can lead to real change.

I know you think that when you're 35, 45, 55, you'll be different. But I'm going to let you in on a bit of a secret. You're going to look different, and your life is going to be different, but in your head you'll always be that 16-year-old girl.

I'm not nearly as important as I used to think I was. It's a wonderful discovery.

Sometimes in movies, I still have to be the hero, but it's not all that important to me anymore.

I'm always interested in how people, myself included, have ideas of themselves, of how they thought they would be, or of how they want to be seen. And the older you get, the world keeps telling you different things about yourself. And how people either adjust to those things and let go of adolescent notions. Or they dig in deeper.

I have been a woman for 46 years and I only recently realized I can't change it and I like it.