Mallory Ortberg Quotes

I've had two boyfriends in the industry. Like, relationships. But I never say names because I respect my relationships and what we've gone through.

My personal life is only my business and the business of the people who are close to me.

I was always taught to keep things private.

There are certain things that only me, my friends and family should know. It's not everyone's business.

It's a good feeling to not tell people what's going on.

Whenever I am asked about my personal relationships, I politely reply, 'No comments.'

I'm not exposing anything thats private - that's one thing I won't do.

Honestly, even if I was dating someone, I will not talk about it unless I am 100 per cent sure about it, because I am a private person.

I keep my private life to myself, and that's going to continue.

What's perplexing to me is that I never think it's anybody's business to know my business.

I don't want people to know everything about me.

Certain family matters should always remain private within the family.

I'm very private about my private life. I don't like to go into too much depth about it.

Autobiography. Apparently one should not name the names of those one has been to bed with, or give explicit figures on the amount of money one has earned, those being the two data most eagerly sought by readers; all the rest is legitimate to reveal.

So it’s really best to keep your secrets when you have them, for their own good, as well as yours.

Do you think I just turn my secrets out for everyone?" He is unfazed. "I didn't know they were secrets," he says. "Or I wouldn't have asked.

If it be ungentlemanly to kiss and tell, it is still further from gentlemanliness to pray and tell.

It almost makes the secrets more important, those few things you actually do choose to keep to yourself.

Gossip is the currency of the discourse, so you should shut up about yourself. Never confess, never explain, never apologize, and never complain.

There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matter if you keep them secret.

If you wish another to keep your secret, first keep it to yourself.

I will answer anything I can with honor, but not about others.

A woman who will tell her age, will tell anything.

My worst flaw is that I tell secrets, my own and everybody else's.

Nor eye in a letter, nor hand in a purse, nor ear in the secret of another.