Merrill Markoe Quotes

I'm somebody who believes in funny things, and laughing, but I do like for them to come from a place that addresses the human condition.

I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'.

Fashion makes me laugh.

I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.

The Rock was one of my favourite comedy characters growing up, and I still think he is. Mainly because he took himself so seriously by being ridiculous and a buffoon all the time but always took the high status.

I dress well. I travel; I seem to be relatively glamorous for a film guy - which, to me, is like being the fastest midget in the circus.

People know I'm smart. And people know that, whether it's SNL or Jimmy Kimmel, it's a trend to take the piss out of celebrity -- just as much of a trend as wearing a gray hoodie or driving a Prius.

I mean you might have wanted Carrie Bradshaw, but to me she's like toddlers and tiaras gone berserk!

Pop music is great, but there's a lot of BS about the attitude of guys being super-gangster - that's why the whole thing is silly. It's making fun of itself. That self-awareness is why people enjoy it. It's refreshing.

There's enough people that do unfunny music. I'll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

I walk alone in the darkness and wonder how a person would begin to determine the circumference of the earth. I have no idea. I’d probably just google it.

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?

Don't wake me for the end of the world unless it has very good special effects.

I have the kind of show that reminds you of your problems, and then I talk about other problems you didn't even know you had until tonight.

I cannot recall a more engaging passage in fiction, and I've been trying for almost eighteen seconds.

Oh, I've got glitter in my hair. That's not all that's in my hair, I'll tell you that. I glue it on every morning, whether I need to or not.

What happens, I think, is especially for comic effect you find something about yourself that you don't like. You exaggerate it, and it's funny.

Our own peculiar human condition is that we are as fit to be laughed at as able to laugh.

Sometimes I'm scared of being Ozzy Osbourne. But it could have been worse. I could have been Sting.

People who go for humor are wonderful because they do great humor. People who go for wit and end up with humor are people who have made a mistake.

I have never seen it (Jaws 4) but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built and it is terrific.

Behind him the Master of Ceremonies cleared his throat. His eyes took on a distant, glazed look.The Stealer of Souls, he said in the faraway voice of one whose ears aren't hearing what his mouth is saying, Defeater of Empires, Swallower of Oceans, Thief of Years, The Ultimate Reality, Harvester of Mankind, the-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I CAN SEE MYSELF IN.