Erma Bombeck Quotes

I'm a really bad liar. My mom finds out every time, especially now that she's got Facebook.

I really want to be like my mom in some ways, because I already take a lot after her already. I really like the way she treats us and disciplines us, and I think that she's just great because of how she's balanced us and all of that.

My life has always been with my dad. Since I can remember, I was raised by my father my entire life. So he's kind of been that mom and father figure - always.

When I was a kid and got in trouble, I'd always say, Mom, I'm in trouble. Well, Mom, I'm in trouble.

My mom had very low expectations for me, and she really had a point. I was a big problem at seventeen. If I had a kid like me, I would have those same expectations.

It is a sad commentary of our times when our young must seek advice and counsel from 'Dear Abby' instead of going to Mom and Dad.

My father wasn't really involved and my mom is the light in my life.

Don't give advice unless you're asked.

Sometimes, if you don't have kids yourself, it's assumed you won't understand or know how to play a mom, which is kind of silly if you think about it.

My mom, for all intents and purposes, was a single parent.

Mom and Dad would stay in bed on Sunday morning, but the kids would have to go to church.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am their mother. Sometimes we are sitting at home and I feel like we are waiting for our mom to come home.

They were very supportive parents in all my endeavors. They have very different approaches on how they give advice.

I hope all the kids out there who don't like listening to their mothers, who yell and scream at them, that moms are always right just so you guys know.

My mom gives great advice, and so does my dad.

me giving my mom romantic advice is kind of like a goldfish giving a snail advice on how to fly.” -Will Grayson (pg. 66)

My kids can't watch ('Howard the Duck'). By the time I get in bed with the duck, they are, like, 'Turn it off, mom. You in bed with a duck is just pretty much a deal breaker.'

It’s not witch-crafty or anything! I suggest it to all moms!

We are all, I suppose, beholden to our parents - the question is, how much?

I urge all children to listen to their mothers and fathers. My mom was helping out some kids and she didn't want to call me for all of the money; she only wanted to take care of some of the kids.

Sometimes, mothers say and do things that seem like they don't want their kids... but when you look more closely, you realize that they're doing those kids a favor. They're just trying to give them a better life.

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

My parents were strict. They weren't as strict on me as they were with the others, but my mother didn't want us to get on anyone's nerves... Go to someone else's house and drive their parents crazy. Another thing was they didn't want us to get into a lot of things that a lot of kids - if they're not careful - can slip into.

No, we can't be friends. You're my mom. You're what i talk to my friends about.

Every day I ask my husband, 'Is it possible to over kiss your child?' I literally think I kiss him 200 times in a day. It's not normal!