Jamie Dimon Quotes

Our approach to banking is very different from the traditional banks or even some of the new banks. We do not necessarily go out and write single-cheque, large-ticket loans.

I've never gotten cash out of a machine. I use my credit cards, so I don't need to do that.

If you were a corporation needing financial services, and I can give you something better, faster, and cheaper across 12 products as opposed to eight, that's business. I'm doing it because I'm serving you; I'm not doing it because I want to be universal.

Sales is this cure all for this problem. Get people to give you their credit card and I guarantee you they're actually interested.

A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

We normally think if you're going to lend someone money, you should get some reward for doing this. In Europe, it's a tax!

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.

When you default on a secured debt, the creditor takes the asset that backs up that debt. When you convert credit card debt to mortgage debt, you are securing that credit card debt with your home. That's a risky proposition.

Turn down offers for new cards or credit line increases on your current cards. Credit's tight, and chances are, you're not getting many offers anyway. But if you do, remember that the less credit you have available, the less trouble you can get into.

Rex Tillerson does massive deals in Russia. He does massive deals for the company, not for himself, for the company.

Congressman Frank and Senator Dodd wanted the government to push financial institutions to lend to people they would not lend to otherwise, because of the risk of default. ... The idea that politicians can assess risks better than people who have spent their whole careers assessing risks should have been so obviously absurd that no one would take it seriously.

Credit default swap gives you something to do. You can buy some credit default swaps from them to protect yourself against the bankruptcy of people who owe you money.

You are much surer that you are doing good when you pay money to those who work, as the recompense of their labor, than when you give money merely in charity.

Give, and you may keep your friend it you lose your money; lend, and the chances are that you lose your friend if ever you get back your money.

I don't waste time putting money down, I just go straight to who got it and buy it in cash. Pussy so good that you gotta come see me on tour and you gotta fly in first class.

If you have credit card debt and credit card companies continue to close down the cards, what are you going to do? What are you going to do if they raise your interest rates to 32 percent? That's five times higher than what your kid is going to pay in interest on a student loan. Get rid of your credit card debt.

The credit card companies have put the loan sharks out of business.

I like it when you buy something and pay with a credit card, they put your credit card on the receipt, but only the last four numbers. Aha! I'm really good at guessing twelve numbers. I can't guess 16 numbers, so thanks for the assistance!

If you want to spend more money in restaurants, use credit cards more than cash. If you want to spend less, use cash more than credit cards. But in general, we can think about how to use the pain of paying and how much of it do we want. And I think we have like a range. Credit cards have very little pain of paying, debit cards have a little bit more because you feel like today, at least it is coming out of your checking account, and cash has much more.

To take something from a person and keep it for oneself: that is robbery. To take something from one person and then turn it over to another in exchange for as much money as you can get: that is business. Robbery is so much more stupid, since it is satisfied with a single, frequently dangerous profit; whereas in business it can be doubled without danger.

But of course there is always a hamartia and yours is that oh, my God, even though you HAD FREAKING CANCER you give money to a company in exchange for the chance to acquire YET MORE CANCER.

My advice is to treat [credit cards] like what they are: little plastic grenades that must be handled very carefully.

That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.

The ones I like are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’