Pema Chodron Quotes

Success and failure are emotional and physiological experiences. We need to deal with them in a way that is present and calm.

It's not that I want to necessarily avoid my darker moments, but I don't capitalize them and put a crown on them and tote them around as the answer anymore.

I'm just not in a place in my life where I worry about something unnecessarily.

The moment I started watching my thoughts, I realized how futile fear is.

I try to take my emotional pulse more now, to recognize when I need to go scream and cry for 20 minutes and then come back to center. Allowing yourself that time, it's a gift.

I am more mature today, so I deal better with the mistakes than the many times when I locked myself away and wanted to be alone.

I tune it all out because if I let other people's stress get to me, then I stress myself out more than I need to.

First you have to witness that you are stressing out: Oh, my trigger is here. The news is stressing me out or This line is so long. Let yourself feel it. You don't want to spiritually bypass these problems. Give yourself a couple of minutes to sit in the feeling. Acceptance sets you free from the stress of expectation.

The sad part is that all we're trying to do is not feel that underlying uneasiness. The sadder part is that we proceed in such a way that the uneasiness only gets worse. The message here is that the only way to ease our pain is to experience it fully. Learn to stay. Learn to stay with uneasiness, learn to stay with the tightening, learn to stay with the itch and urge of shenpa, so that the habitual chain reaction doesn't continue to rule our lives, and the patterns that we consider unhelpful don't keep getting stronger as the days and months and years go by.

In deep self-acceptance grows a compassionate understanding. As one Zen master said when I asked if he ever gets angry, 'Of course I get angry, but then a few minutes later I say to myself, 'What's the use of this,' and I let it go.'

It sounds clichéd, but I think the greatest lesson is to not take things personally.

No matter what feeling comes up - numbness, irritability, shame - if I let it arise and play itself through, I naturally open into wakefulness and care.

Anger or hatred is like a fisherman's hook. It is very important for us to ensure that we are not caught by it.

When there is pain, the animal instinct is 'fight or flight' (i.e., to either strike back or run away) - reflect instead. When you can calm yourself down, thinking about the dilemma that is causing you pain will bring you to a higher level and enlighten you, leading to progress.

When you're tempted to be upset, ask yourself 'Is this worth giving up my joy?'

The wise man will be as happy as circumstances permit, and if he finds the contemplation of the universe painful beyond a point, he will contemplate something else instead.

The pain is always bringing me a lesson. If I listen to the lesson when the pain is manageable, the pain won't get gargantuan and flatten me entirely, because I will have received the message at the center. I receive it as gently as I can, because the cruelest thing that I do to myself is try to push myself through an experience.

We can stop thinking that good practice is when it’s smooth and calm, and bad practice is when it’s rough and dark. If we can hold it all in our hearts, then we can make a proper cup of tea.

People try so hard to let go of their negative behaviors and thoughts, and it doesn't work, or it works only for a short time. I didn't let go of my negative thoughts; I questioned them, and then they let go of me, and so did my addictions and depression.

It takes great courage and personal strength to hold on to our center during times of great hurt. It takes wisdom to understand that our reactiveness only fans the flames of false drama.

I've got a lot better at dropping emotions if something goes wrong, or right.

I think one big thing for me that I need to work on is being able to separate my feelings and emotions from my matches.

That aggression came over time from dealing with stuff - 'Anger Management' really is what it's called. That project came out and I felt a weight lifted off my chest. I learned something about myself.

When I stuff things down and avoid it or try to work too hard through something that needs to be addressed, that's when life slaps me in the face, and I get told. I got told to slow down.