Mark Twain Quotes

England is the only civilised country in the world where it is etiquette to fall on the food like a wolf the moment it is served. Elsewhere it is comme il faut to wait until everybody has helped himself to everything and until everything on everybody's plate is stone cold.

I remember watching steak being cooked on TV and wanting to try it. As a special treat, my mother cooked it for me, and I thought this would be the time I would eat with a knife and fork. Alas, I ate it with chopsticks!

I was expected to sit at the table, learn how to eat properly.

Sitting down to a meal with an Indian family is different from sitting down to a meal with a British family.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

I cook every chance in my pot. And only when it is cooked through do I welcome it as my food.

Basil Stag Hare tut-tutted severely as he remarked to Ambrose Spike, 'Tch, tch. Dreadful table manners. Just look at those three wallahs, kicking up a hullaballoo like that! Eating's a serious business.

Do not speak of repulsive matters at table.

...Everyone had to eat, but eating people wasn't polite.

I remember so clearly from when I was five years old, my mom and dad arguing over - not over whether it was better, but whether it was proper or whether it was correct to eat with a fork or to eat with your hands, like we do in Sri Lanka. Proper. Like, what is the correct way to eat?

Speake not of a dead man at the table.

If you are going to worry all night, you should let the hostess know that you're coming for cocktails and leaving when everyone sits down for dinner. If you do need to call to check in, people will understand, but excuse yourself from the table and head to the ladies room to do it.

So Stapes conducted a dinner for just the two of us, then informed me of a dozen small but important mistakes I had made. Setting down a dirty utensil was considered crude, for example. That meant it was perfectly acceptable to lick one's knife clean. In fact, if you didn't want to dirty your napkin it was the only seemly thing to do.

Always chew on your pretzels before you swallow.

At the dinner table, if you can't think of anything to say, sit quietly. Don't throw rolls, or chew on your napkin.

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

Tis not the food, but the content, That makes the table's merriment.

I’d discovered, after a lot of extreme apprehension about what spoons to use, that if you do something incorrect at table with a certain arrogance, as if you knew perfectly well you were doing it properly, you can get away with it and nobody will think you are bad-mannered or poorly brought up. They will think you are original and very witty.

If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.

The table robbes more then a thiefe.

My notion of an elegant table is you don't leave the knife sticking out of the mayonnaise jar.

In proceeding to the dining-room, the gentleman gives one arm to the lady he escorts--it is unusual to offer both.

What we need in this country is a general improvement in eating. We have the best raw materials in the world, both quantitatively and qualitatively, but most of them are ruined in the process of preparing them for the table.

A civil guest Will no more talk all, than eat all the feast.