Matt Groening Quotes

I don't have big anxieties. I wish I did. I'd be much more interesting.

I have a nervous breakdown in the film and in one scene I get to stand at the top of the stairs waving an empty sherry bottle which is, of course, a typical scene from my daily life, so isn't much of a stretch.

I don't need drugs to make my life tragic.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

If I'm not complaining, I'm not having a good time, hah hah!

Somebody's boring me. I think it's me.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror.

I'm probably doing puns more than anything in my life.

This is the way I look when I'm sober. That's enough to make a person drink, wouldn't you say?

If you want to ask about my drug problem, go ask my big, fat, smart, ten pound daughter, she'll answer any questions you have about it.

I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.

I don't know, I never smoked AstroTurf.

The show is 'Fix My Life!' Get it? Life. I do not fix people.

I do not look at myself every morning and think: 'Oh, my gosh, I am so perfect, so beautiful, so talented.' No, I like to make fun of myself.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

In my personal life, I'm a comic novel. But then, so are we all, because we're human beings.

I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.

People always want to ask me about my drug problem - I never had a drug problem; I had a self-esteem problem!

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

I always say that I've been in a bad mood for maybe 35 years now. I try to lighten it up, but that's what comes out when you get me on camera.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

I feel coming on a strange disease - humility.