Brian Posehn Quotes

We have a presidential candidate who's deleted emails and done things illegally and is a presidential candidate. That doesn't make sense to me, because if that was any other person, you'd be in prison. So what is this country really standing for?

In Trump's world, men get to play by different rules. Even the witch hunt over Hillary Clinton's emails exudes a double standard. George W. Bush 'lost' 22 million emails during his presidency. We can't even go back and look at the communication regarding the decision to invade Iraq.

Either I need an assignment with a strict deadline - like something for a movie or a TV show or whatever - or else I need to create a made-up deadline for myself for my own records. Otherwise, I don't write anything.

I want to get rid of the image that I never turn up on time, because everyone always complains about this habit of mine.

Charles Graner is certainly guilty of terrible misjudgment. There's always a double standard. Everyone was happy to go to Graner's trial and write stories about how bad he is. And he is. But every time he tried to get an officer to testify, the officer either would invoke the Fifth Amendment or the judge would refuse to allow him to testify. We really didn't air out the issues.

I tend to have a hard time working on pieces long before they're due. That's why I think the fact that I write a column is really good for me - the column has to be done, and there's no getting around it.

Those who are late will be punished by life itself.

I hate feeling late. Someone else has the courtesy and respect to show up on time, and when I'm late, it's like telling them, "I don't respect you." Worst feeling in the world. It makes you really reflect on your priorities.

[The Republicans] are always asking the Muslims to denounce their extremists. And I agree with them. But they don't take that note and do it among their own. They don't denounce their own extremists.

I figured this was the easy stuff, and if we couldn't show up on time, looking right and acting right, we weren't going to be able to do anything else.

We all give ourselves a lot of leeway, but we want consistency from other people.

Always late: thus I make you the prisoner of my freedom.

Avoid doing what you would blame others for doing.

The senator has got to understand if he's going to have - he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road.

Sir, I did not count your glasses of wine, why should you number up my cups of tea?

I'm wearing pants, for f---'s sake. Lay off. I mean, it's not like I'm a f---ing lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my c---, I feel like that wasn't part of the deal ... But whatever. I guess it's better than being called out for the opposite.

People love WikiLeaks when it is exposing corruption in their opponents. People oppose WikiLeaks when it is exposing corruption or dangerous behavior in themselves.

America undermines its own ideals when it ignores the very values it is promoting around the world. You cannot ask other people in the world to follow the law and act responsibly if we don't do the same... and being afraid is not an excuse.

I have learned two important lessons from my association with the Marine Corps: always be on time and always be ready to do what is required when you get there.

Judge not, lest ye be judged judgmental.

Dat veniam corvis, vexat censura columbas. - Censure acquits the raven, but pursues the dove.

In our own case we accept excuses too easily; in other people's, we do not accept them easily enough.

The military taught me the importance of getting something done in a timely manner and the importance of completing a mission on time. My lieutenant would say, 'If you don't, you die.' In many ways, life is the same. If you don't pay attention to a timeline, you lose out on the ability to accomplish the task at hand.

I explain to everyone I deal with-co-workers, children, friends-that I'm transitionally challenged and they should call me on my cell phone if I'm even a few minutes late. Such calls often come in when I'm happily writing or rearranging the furniture. The monochrones in my life are so organized, they have no trouble remembering to remind me to show up.

Out of hundreds of deals that I've done, hundreds, on four occasions I've taken advantage of the laws of this country, like other people. I'm not going to name their names because I'm not going to embarrass, but virtually every person that you read about on the front page of the business sections, they've used the law.The difference is, when somebody else uses those laws, nobody writes about it. When I use it, they say, "Trump, Trump, Trump."