Josh Widdicombe Quotes

I'm the guy who will eat something that looks nice when I'm out, but when I take it home in a doggie bag, it'll sit in the back of my refrigerator until it starts to move.

I like eating food after it's gone off.

If it has a shelf life longer than you, don't eat it.

FoodSaver containers extend the life of my food so I can have fresh food ready all week long.

I am someone who puts their takeout or leftovers into the Tupperware and stores it in the refrigerator overnight.

My mother accidentally gave me food poisoning. She fed me baby carrots for a snack before Christmas dinner - but they had expired in June! I threw up for the next 24 hours.

There is a method to the madness when it comes to placing everything in your refrigerator.

I'm a real dumb-dumb in real life. I'm just book smart. But definitely not street smart. The other day I lost my jacket in a cab. And I'll forget things every time I leave the house.

Most cornmeal producers don't tell you when their cornmeal was milled, which makes it difficult to know how long the product has been sitting in the store before you bought it.

People don't take enough advantage of the refrigerator door.

My brain knows best-before dates are a con; my panicky gut treats them like a nuclear countdown.

I have a theory that since everyone is always dieting, no one at a convention dinner ever eats the potatoes. Therefore, they go back to the kitchen uneaten. And the next night they reappear at another convention. Therefore, one should never eat the potatoes. Who knows? They may be six or seven years old.

The concept that you are not ingesting rotting flesh sort of sums it up for me.

Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'

...and thus it will go on, so long as children are gay and innocent and heartless.

I'm one of those people that you have to keep your eye on or I'll wander off into the woods and forget to come back.

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.

Youth has many glories, but judgement is not one of them, and no amount of electronic amplification can turn a belch into an aria.

I wanted to be an actor my whole young life. My dad was an actor, obviously - he won an Academy Award, but I had no idea what was involved. I had all the wrong ideas about acting.

I'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you know when fish goes bad? It smells like fish either way! 'Hey this smells like a dumpster, lets eat it!'

I don't watch myself gener­ally. I do something, see it once, and then I'll probably never see it again unless it's an accident.

I WAS YOUNG!! I WAS STUPID.. YOU TOLD ME GIRLS BOUGHT THAT MAGAZINE!!

Cheeses crusty, got all musty, got damp on the stone of a peach,” I agreed. He looked blank, so I repeated it with proper emphasis. “ ChEEZ-zes crusty. Got Al -musty. Got DAMp on the StoneofapeaCH.

The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists?

I was 100 percent sure when I left university that I was going to be a painter.