Peter Drucker Quotes

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

I taught elementary school and painted apartments for ten years. Now I write full-time and never have to change a thing I write. Every book comes to me in a flash of inspiration and takes me about two seconds to finish. The longer books, like the 'Time Warp Trio' novels, take a little longer to write - more like four seconds.

My worst subject in school was school, but it turns out I'm great at starting them.

Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer.

I began my education at a very early age; in fact, right after I left college.

Thank goodness my education was neglected.

When I was a child, the Earth was said to be two billion years old. Now scientists say it's four and a half billion. So that makes me two and a half billion.

It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously.

A lot of the stuff Kafka said he thought was hilariously funny.

He would say that God had given him a tail to keep the flies off, but that he would sooner have had no tail and no flies.

Irony is the bringing together of two contradictory truths and to make out of the contradiction a new truth, with a laugh or a smile.

Laugh at what you hold sacred, and still hold it sacred.

The goodness of your true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.

A friend of mine was asked to a costume ball a short time ago. He slapped some egg on his face and went as a liberal economist.

I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny.

Just because we can shoot something that looks like a movie doesn't mean we should. Sometimes if something looks too good, it's not funny. Some things need to look good, because we think it's funny that you'd spend so much time and be so precious about such a stupid idea.

I didn't go to college, but if I did, I would've taken all my tests at a restaurant, 'cause 'The customer is always right'.

I respect everything I make fun of.

Perhaps Samuel Johnson was a great man; he was certainly a drumbling one.

Irony: Don't let yourself be controlled by it, especially during uncreative moments.

Our own peculiar human condition is that we are as fit to be laughed at as able to laugh.

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.