Naomi Alderman Quotes

Divorce is a time of change. It really rocks a foundation of most people's lives. When we have our heart broken or our dreams taken away from us, it is a time of growth and change.

I used to think that divorce meant failure, but now I see it more as a step along the path of self-realization and growth.

People change their positions all the time, the way they change their wives.

I'm sure I acted differently after I got married, I know I did. But... people get married and things change. It doesn't mean that the band has to break up.

The act of loving is an act of self-evolution even when the purpose of the act is someone else's growth.

My role relationship to the event will continue to mutate. My relationship to my mother will continue to change as I revise my judgments of her depending on what I learn about her. It goes on. But I feel no less obsessive about my work and no less passionately committed to the life I have now, but I feel poised inside. Which is a good thing to feel at 48.

When you get older, you're bothered, or inspired, by other things in life than a girl breaking up with you. Things get heavier as you get older.

There comes a crossroads in every marriage where you grow together or grow apart. I outgrew Len. He wanted me to be in that leather jumpsuit for the rest of my life and do nothing else. He constrained me. It got to a point where the marriage died or I did.

I hope it's enabling me to deal with another human being who's more important to me than I am.

Like everything which is not the involuntary result of fleeting emotion but the creation of time and will, any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting than any romance, however passionate.

I've been in many relationships in my life and learned a lot from them, good and bad.

Being a parent has taught me a lot of things already, you know, though it's only been a year and half, and has made me address parts of myself that I would otherwise live in comfortable denial of, or you know and - you know, for instance, my self-loathing.

I think high school's very difficult. You're figuring out your own power and your effect on other people. You look back and see how you spent so much energy on figuring out things with your parents or your peers.

I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.

When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'

I'm sure not afraid of success and I've learned not to be afraid of failure. The only thing I'm afraid of now is of being someone I don't like much.

In terms of relationships, I've had two failures, although I don't like to call them failures; they are self learning, and I cannot say I regret any of my relationships. I've always said that I am a much loved woman.

Only after I faced the unhappiness of my first marriage did I start on the path of personal growth.

Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.

I feel offended when people bring up my four marriages. I was 19 when I first got married and I thought it would be for ever. But each of my marriages has added to my life and helped form me as a human being.

I think there's a big difference between loving someone out of duty and dependency and loving someone because you really are able to sort of grow and be whole in the context of that relationship.

Love is different at different stages of your life.

I am somewhat grateful to the disintegration of my marriage for teaching me a lot about myself and about relationships, and though I wish it hadn't been such a taxing lesson, I wouldn't change a thing.

At 58, I knew I had to get a divorce. At that age, it's an almost impossible thing to go through. I had been married 33 years. I had been married for 33 years. I didn't know anything else.

What I've found is that every time you have that uncertainty, if you face it, walk through it, you grow as an individual and gain confidence.