Neal Shusterman Quotes

Trying to be witty leads to lying, more or less.

Sometimes you say things with a smile with the precise intention of making it clear that you are not being serious, and are only kidding. If I salute a friend with a smile and say, 'How are you, you old scoundrel!' clearly I don't really mean he's a scoundrel.

Tolerance is you saying something crazy and me smiling and saying, 'That's nice.'

I don't talk, I quote. I can't help it. It's better to be quotable than honest.

Look at me! I'm sweet and lovable!

Strider's bedroom "The only thing hanging on the wall that wasn't a weapon was the portrait just over the bed. No. Not true, he thought then. The portrait was a weapon, too. Of seduction. In it Strider was utterly naked and whisking through the cloads like an avenging angel. He was holding a teddy bear in one hand and a stream of pink ribbons in the other. Anya had given him the nearly life-size monstrasity as a joke. But the joke was on her. He loved the thing.

It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don't mean it.

I am a comedian and you guys know whatever I say, I don't mean any of it.

Of course, I do my own stunts. And I also do my own lying.

A lot of the things I say I'm just trying to be funny... I don't really mean everything I say, because I'm not totally that airhead.

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

Just kidding' was exactly what people wrote when they meant every word.

I only mean forty per cent of what I say.

Since Dominic's been sleeping with me, the mice have been trying various labels on him, looking for one that fits. My personal favorite was the week they spent calling him "the God of Absolutely Never Smiling, No, Not Ever.

I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.

Oh no, Nick" Jaime said in tones of supremely unconvincing shock, "how could you? When my back was turned for one momement. And my food was so delicious.

I don't mean I'd mind being rich and famous. That's very much on my schedule and someday I'll try to get around to it.

It's a dangerous game that comedy plays. Sometimes it tells you the truth; sometimes it delays it.

Do you really keep a diary? I'd give anything to look at it. May I? Oh, no. You see, it is simply a very young girl's record of her own thoughts and impressions, and consequently meant for publication. When it appears in volume form I hope you will order a copy.

"I'm sorry," she said humbly. "I haven't wanted to lie to you." "I should hope so. You're the worst liar I've ever met." He thought about it for a moment, then added, " - or the best. Now I'm all confused.

I did, however, manage to do it without hurting those dogs. Very considerate of me. Don't let it be said I'm not an animal lover-that wretched kitsune aside.

He had black hair anybody could see was dyed, and even had one long piece wrapped around his head in that way some men did to fool no one into believing they weren't bald. I resisted a sudden strong urge to tug away that piece and scream peekaboo! at his bare crown underneath.

Poets speak of hope in ladies smiles, but give me a smirk any day, I say.

He immediately started charming my mom until she was nothing but a gooey puddle in the middle of the foyer.He loved her new haircut.She got one?I guessed her hair did look different.Like she'd washed it or something.Daemon told her that the diamond earrings were beautiful.The rug below the steps was really nice.And that leftover scent of mystery dinner-because I still hadn't figured out what she fed me-smelled divine.He admired nurses worldwide,and by that point,I couldn't keep my eye rolls to a minimum.Daemon was ridiculous.

Nothing sinister. Just getting exercise. Although some might consider that sinister.