Vanessa Diffenbaugh Quotes

I founded Camellia Network with my dear friend Isis Dallis Keigwin. The mission of our organization is to create a national network that connects every youth aging out of foster care to the critical resources, opportunities, and support they need to thrive in adulthood.

Something we learned from foster kids after sitting down with them to hear their stories is that so many of them are invested in social justice, and they're all invested in making the system better for the kids behind them.

It's always hard - it's a little counterintuitive to leave your baby at any point during the infancy.

Despite the best of efforts, many foster children are neither reunited with their families, nor adopted.

To get a child's trust - you may know or not - is a very hard thing to do. They're so used to not believing adults - because adults tell tales and lies all the time.

I was 16 when I entered the foster system, and know firsthand the statistics for 'aging out.'

Adopted kids are such a pain - you have to teach them how to look like you.

How do you build a relationship when you've hardly shared a word but suddenly share a child? How do you love a daughter you don't see for nearly two years? When does she become your daughter? How does she become your daughter?

The problem is foster youth don't really have this network that other kids have.

At Camellia Network, we believe if we can create a way of identifying every young person aging out of foster care, defining what they need, and giving a community of supporters a simple and clear way to fulfill those needs, we can produce radically improved outcomes for youth.

I was worried if you adopted a foster child, someone from the birth family could still come and take her back. I was afraid that any child in foster care might have suffered such trauma or neglect that she would be impossible to reach. I'm not proud of these fears. But I understand now when others ask me the same questions.

Every child is completely different. My two boys are opposites. Camden was such an easy baby. Jaxon is more of our rebel wild child, but he's also a mama's boy.

I'm not proud of this, but I had a lot of misconceptions about American foster care. To me, foster care meant that a child would be placed with you, then taken away. I didn't want to go through all of that.

Children certainly can't learn if they're dealing with trauma or mental illness.

Trust grows when babies and mothers establish that they can find each other again after the inevitable moments of losing touch. It is not the goodness of the mother or the relationship per se that is the basis for trust; it is the ability of mother and baby together to repair the breaks in their relationship that builds a safe house for love.

I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.

Parents needs to spend more time with who they're trusting their kids with. That's one of the nuggets going forward. Find out who these coaches are. Figure out their environment and what kind of problems they have, and see if you want your child involved with that.

I read that book How to Hug a Porcupine [by Julie Ross] - it's my parenting bible. They say you have to trust your children and give them freedom. I say, OK, but this is New York City!

The opposite of addiction is human connection. And I think that has massive implications for the war on drugs. The treatment of drug addicts almost everywhere in the world is much closer to Tent City than it is to anything in Portugal. Our laws are built around the belief that drug addicts need to be punished to stop them. But if pain and trauma and isolation cause addiction, then inflicting more pain and trauma and isolation is not going to solve that addiction. It's actually going to deepen it.

Becoming a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I am happy to once again be a part of National Adoption Day. We were matched with our daughter through the U.S. foster care system, and my goal is to share information about the more than 120,000 foster care children in this country who are waiting for a family.

Like a good marriage, trust on a team is never complete; it must be maintained over time.

My interests lie in nurturing children. That's part of the reason why the bullying thing has become an aspect of my life. I was bullied a lot growing up. I know firsthand the amount of life that is sucked out of you every time that happens, and how it affected me as a young adult.

I take responsibility for the times I was arrested and the things that I did. Me being 33 now, I look back on those times and I wish that a lot of things I didn't do. I wish I could have back because I see how much I influence people. People wanna follow in my footsteps and I wish that I can now do more positive things, and that back then I'd done more positive things.

I wish I could tell every young girl with an eating disorder, or who has harmed herself in any way, that she's worthy of life and that her life has meaning. You can overcome and get through anything.

The young, free to act on their initiative, can lead their elders in the direction of the unknown... The children, the young, must ask the questions that we would never think to ask, but enough trust must be re-established so that the elders will be permitted to work with them on the answers.