Neal Boortz Quotes

At painful times, when composition is impossible and reading is not enough, grammars and dictionaries are excellent for distraction.

Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.

I think the smartest thing for people to do to manage very distressing emotions is to take a medication if it helps, but don't do only that. You also need to train your mind.

Sometimes I yell at my cancer cells, sometimes I make myself laugh.

Sometimes it's difficult to laugh at certain things but comedy can help.

Players are human and when they get the opportunity to relieve the pressure, some deal with it in different ways.

"Nasty Man" isn't a laughing matter, but you have to laugh anyway. The song, itself, becomes something of a laughing matter because we'd go crazy if we didn't keep laughing.

One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.

Meditation practice is simply moving from a life of hurting myself and others to a life of not hurting myself and others.

Whenever I'm sad I'm going to die, or so nervous I can't sleep, or in love with somebody I won't be seeing for a week, I slump down just so far and then I say: 'I'll go take a hot bath.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, 'Hey, at least I'm not pregnant.'

There are two types of people in the world: those who think everyone needs therapy, and those who have never been.

Always remember that, nine times out of ten, you probably aren’t having a full-on nervous breakdown – you just need a cup of tea and a biscuit. You’d be amazed how easily and repeatedly you can confuse the two. Get a big biscuit tin.

I try to get enough sleep and exercise, try not to make mountains out of molehills, and vent a lot. I have a good team to support my work. I also do lots of mundane things, which will center me.

From the start, I've always admired Eminem's thinking. That's the reason I wanted to appear on the Grammys with him when I was asked. Eminem has the balls to say what he feels and to make offensive things funny. That's very necessary today in America, with people being muzzled and irony becoming a lost art. Artists like Eminem who use their free speech to get a point across are vitally important. There just aren't many people in the world with balls that big and talent that awesome.

Satire is dependent on strong beliefs, and on strong beliefs wounded.

I be getting high just to balance out the lows.

Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on Earth tolerable.

I've had my moments of feeling miserable in my life, as has everyone, but it's not often that you actually get the opportunity to indulge that feeling. Mostly when people are depressed or miserable, they have to snap out of it because it doesn't work. It doesn't suit day-to-day life.

Forgive me. I can no longer live with my nerves.

Satirize wickedness if you must--but pity weakness.

When I'm watching South Park I don't think it's written by neo-Nazis. They know exactly what they're doing.

I try not to get personally involved in social media. It kind of makes me sick sometimes.

Too bad the things that make you mad are my favorite things.