Jeremy Clarkson Quotes

I drive an American car. It's a Chrysler. That's not an endorsement. It's more like a cry for pity.

My first car was a BMW. A white BMW.

VD: Worst of the Three.

I have a Mercedes, which is a pretty fast car. It's not a Lamborghini.

My dad owned Cadillacs all my life.

Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.

I've got this theory that there is a Volvo in any sane person's future.

Most people are not particularly good at anything.

There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!

Hard work is for people short on talent.

Sometimes, when you work with mediocre talents, they feel entitled. They act like stars. Genuinely talented people don't.

Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.

We on the left have forgotten that the question is not how do you get good people to rule, most people who rule are mediocre at best and usually venal. The question is how do we make those in power frightened of us and not be seduced by formal political processes.

Mediocrity is excellent to the eyes of mediocre people.

Name a sexual disease, she got it like Sam Goody.

I just wanted friends. I just wanted people to like me. I just wanted for things to be simple and good. So, for five years I actively sought out mediocrity.

If the people in Europe are SOOOOOO smart, how come so many of them can't seem to locate the deodorant, huh?

She already has a car.” “A Ford. That’s like Toyota’s worst enemy.

People always ask me how long it takes to do my hair. I don’t know, I’m never there.

Shut up!" Eve yelled from somewhere upstairs. "Jackass!" "You know, when people say that, I just hear the word awesome.

And I believe the nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it.

The world is so full of ill-nature that I have lampoons sent me by people who cannot spell, and satires composed by those who scarce know how to write.

People residing within the cult of average don’t like to see others rise. It threatens their security, and spotlights their low self-worth. Go for great, no matter what they say.

But just because you love something, I added to myself, doesn't mean you'll ever be great. Not if you don't work. Most people stink at the things they love.

Most people talk when they have nothing to say. I’m not talking because I have too much to say. None of which I’d want you to hear.