Ogden Nash Quotes

Sex is the gateway to life.

A million million spermatozoa, All of them alive: Out of their cataclysm but one poor Noah Dare hope to survive.

The colours of insects and many smaller animals contribute to conceal them from the larger ones which prey upon them. Caterpillars which feed on leaves are generally green; and earth-worms the colour of the earth which they inhabit; butter-flies, which frequent flowers, are coloured like them; small birds which frequent hedges have greenish backs like the leaves, and light-coloured bellies like the sky, and are hence less visible to the hawk who passes under them or over them.

If most people wanted to be incognito, they put on a fake beard or mustache. If I wanted to I'd just shave mine off.

Ugliness is nature's contraceptive.

You can keep as quiet as you like, but one of these days somebody is going to find you.

Lord Tyrawley and I have been dead these two years, but we don't choose to have it known.

From an evolutionary point of view, sex is really just a reward mechanism to encourage us to pass on our genetic material.

To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness.

There he stood, in the camouflage of sun and shade, disfigured by them and masked by his own nakedness.

Remember that anybody who is clever enough to set you free is clever enough to enslave you.

Sex is the main way we exist on the planet. It's an essential part of life.

By now, the camouflage had become my skin. My friends wouldn't want to know. Who would want to know? I certainly didn't want to know. All I wanted was to hold my assumptions to the light, and to watch them sparkle in their facets, as all sham gemstones do.

All words are masks and the lovelier they are, the more they are meant to conceal.

[Chess] is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever, when they are only wasting their time.

When you use sleep mask, no one's gonna recognize you. You're gonna look like an idiot, but it's so worth it.

I'm not quite at the point where I feel the need to wear disguises in public.

I’ve never heard that the sexual act requires any particular intelligence. From what I’ve observed, many stupid people are easily able to produce children.

There are no circumstances, however unfortunate, that clever people do not extract some advantage from.

Truth is for tailors and shoemakers. I, on the contrary, have always held that the Lord has a penchant for masquerades.

The world will never discover a person who is hiding in the crowd.

I'm Nobody! Who are you? Are you – Nobody – too? Then there's a pair of us? Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know! How dreary – to be – Somebody! How public – like a Frog – To tell one's name – the livelong June – To an admiring Bog!

Sex is still the leading cause of pregnancy.

Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home.

Sex is the invention of a very clever venereal disease.