Michael Gurian Quotes

We all are scared. First of all, as a culture, we're constantly told that if you start to express yourself or express your needs, you're needy. You're too emotional. And they put all these negative connotations on it. That has started since we were kids, especially for men.

Growing up as a young man you're often told, 'You shouldn't cry,' and 'Emotions are weakness.' I think that's so damaging and I genuinely think that if we raised young boys better we wouldn't have such a need for feminism.

There's so much toxic masculinity out there. I grew up with the notion that the more masculine you are and the less you show emotion, the more of a man you are.

We need to stop raising boys to think that they need to prove their masculinity by being controlling or by not showing emotion or by not being little girls.

So much of Hollywood is this kind of overly machismo, nonsensical view of masculinity, which I just don't find honest. I think it's this idea of - you know, we're told, well, 'Be a man, be a man.' But what does that mean, exactly? Does that mean you can't carry yourself with any fear? That you can't acknowledge that you're scared?

Basic emotions can be conveyed through anything. As long as you show people that you're human, they'll relate to it.

The idea of faking empathy to take a step forward to understanding - it's a really powerful idea.

I wish I'd known that apologizing is a sign of strength. I had the impression that if you apologize, it's a sign of weakness. I kind of picked up the message from my father, 'Real men don't apologize. You just do your best, and if you happen to hurt some people, that's their fault. You just go on. Don't apologize. That's a sign of weakness.'

I'm not too big on feelings.

Sometimes people just need to feel heard, and being an actor has taught me to really listen.

There is no harm in showing your feelings. It's not unmanly.

It's a real bloke thing, not talking to people because it's not manly to get help.

I have confidence in my manhood to be able to cry at a movie or at a wedding, too.

I am emotional, but that's not a negative.

The Cure wrote 'Boys Don't Cry,' and it's the same today: as a boy, you're not meant to show your emotions, but if you don't have a job or any prospects, you're going to be depressed, and it will be much worse if you can't express that. I hate the term because it's become a buzzword, but it's toxic masculinity.

I don't think you have to be this macho man all the time, just because you play sport.

You need to know that you cannot control your feelings, and you cannot control your feelings about your feelings, but, as best as you can, intellectually understand that your feelings are valid and they're okay and don't try to stifle them or feel shame about them.

You know, men are very tough and they don't want to ever say that they need a break or that they are in pain.

The notion that you're not supposed to show how you feel is really detrimental, not just to yourself but to the way you end up treating other people.

We think empathy is innate, but it's not. It's a muscle you're working.

In today's society, a lot of males think you have to be strong all the time, and you're not allowed to show weakness. That's just so false.

Sometimes hiding behind masculinity with your homies can get in the way of having a real dialogue.

I think that crying is a way women and men express frustration, anger, or passion. And we should not feel compelled to mute those emotions.

You know what takes effort? Being kind, being patient, being respectful, telling someone how you feel politely instead of just avoiding them for six weeks.

We're not, like, hard men.