Jason Segel Quotes

My dad was fine, but I have to say my mum was upset when I said I was leaving home.

Scrawling 'I'm gay' in lipstick on your parents' bedroom mirror may demonstrate a personal signature of the highest style, but is not particularly sensitive to their feelings. Upon hearing me utter those words almost twenty years ago, my own mother did what and self-respecting middle-class mom would do: went directly into a seizure.

I think my mom threatened to put me up for adoption a few times.

My mom and I have always had issues.

If your mom was here, she would flip her top over your grades." "Flip her lid," I muttered.

Oh, try not to sound so much like Mom—you don’t have the ovaries" (Monica Morrell - Last Breath)

I appealed to my mother. I told her it wasn't fair the way the whole family was invading my dreams and she said, Arrah, for the love o' God, drink your tea and go to school and stop tormenting us with your dreams.

My mom gets so upset at me when I say stuff in the press about anything political, and it drives me crazy because I say to my mom: 'I can't be on the side of any sort of war and I'm not going to be.'

Deep down, my mom had long suspected I was gay... Much of her anger and hurt came from her sense of betrayal that she was the last to be told.

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

I can barely recall a single holiday when my father didn't make a scene or create some kind of chaos. We were always walking on eggshells.

I got really bad grades, so I'd hide my report card from my dad. My mom was in on it, too, because she knew he'd be furious. I probably would've gone to boot camp. Seriously.

My mother and I never got along, not even when I was a child.

My mother gets all mad at me if I stay in a hotel. I'm 31-years-old, and I don't want to sleep on a sleeping bag down in the basement. It's humiliating.

It drives me absolutely crazy when my kids fight - the sound of them fighting and not getting along.

The night I announced I was getting married, Daddy paced for hours on the porch.

Dinner 'conversation' at the Cohens' meant my sister, mom, and I relaying in brutal detail the day's events in a state of amplified hysteria, while my father listened to his own smooth jazz station in his head.

Mum's serial misbehavior over the years had driven me, despairing, to write her scolding - occasionally scalding letters.

Sometimes my mum is very disapproving of my comedy.

My relationship with my mom is really bad.

I think I said something mean when I was little, and my mother snapped on me. I was just like, 'I'm sorry!' I could relate. If I had cursed out my dad, I probably would be just waking up.

People feel very ashamed to admit that they have in-law problems. They think it's something petty. But it's not petty at all. It hits deep emotions.

When I was 16, I was watching '101 Dalmatians,' and my mom never let me bleach my hair, so I told her I was going to dye my hair like Cruella De Vil; she didn't believe me. I came home with my hair like this, and she didn't talk to me for, like, a week. It was really hilarious.

Families that live out in the suburbs often make each other cry.

As for murmurs, mother, we grumble a little now and then, to be sure; but there's no love lost between us.