Terry Pratchett Quotes

No man of any intelligence would pretend to know a female mind.

You can only be funny if you have matters of great importance on your mind.

I like things that are funny and have a lot else in them besides that - ideas, for example.

I love comedy. I love the absurdity of it. I love the kind of intelligence that's required to be dumb in comedy.

The conversation of human beings seldom interested him, but it crossed his mind that the males and females always got along best when neither actually listened fully to what the other one was saying.

I do not deny that what happened to us is a thing worth laughing at. But it is not worth telling, for not everyone is sufficiently intelligent to be able to see things from the right point of view.

Ridicule is also a weapon against forces of evil. Really clever, intelligent ridicule.

These stories about my intellectual capacity really get under my skin. You know, for a while I even thought my staff believed it. There on my schedule first thing every morning it said, 'Intelligence Briefing.'

In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.

Wit, to be well defined, must be defined by wit itself; then it will be worth listening to.

Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.

I love funny women, and just being around them talking is fine with me. I love an interesting mind.

A sense of humour is common sense dancing.

It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.

I do believe that on a whole, women are definitely smarter than men... I also believe that dogs are smarter than women. No? That one, you don't believe it? You believe that I didn't do a series of tests? You are right to not believe it, because I'm going to go ahead and admit that I do not believe what I just said, it was what's described as a 'joke.' Um, I'll be telling a bunch of them here tonight.

The more you know, the more you can make fun of

If we did not know all His retorts by heart, if we had not taken the sting out of them by incessant repetition in the accents of the pulpit, and if we had not somehow got it into our heads that brains were rather reprehnsible, we should reckon Him among the greatest wits of all time. Nobody else, in three brief years, has achieved such an output of epigram.

Truth, when witty, is the wittiest of all things.

I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can't go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left. ALGERNON: We have. JACK: I should extremely like to meet them. What do they talk about? ALGERNON: The fools? Oh! about the clever people of course. JACK: What fools.

After wisdom comes wit.

True wit has a grave intention.

Those who object to wit are envious of it.

Less judgment than wit is more sail than ballast. Yet it must be confessed that wit given an edge to sense, and recommends it extremely.

Barbara Ehrenreich is smart, provocative, funny, and sane in a world that needs more of all four.

The kind of über-objective is to make people laugh. You always have to have that in the back of your mind, "Eh, I've got to figure out a way to make this funny."