Bob Uecker Quotes

It's tough to strike out. Believe me. I hate striking out. It's no fun. It's embarrassing. But there really isn't anything I can do. It's just a part of my game.

Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it.

In a sport like baseball, you strike out or get embarrassed, you turn the page.

I think what's hysterically funny is a guy who sets himself up as the most confident, everything's-perfect, know-it-all, things-are-swell human being and then gets wiped out every time.

I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I've been thrown out of so many.

When you see grown men near to tears because they've missed hitting a little white ball into a hole from three feet, it makes you laugh.

'Esquire Magazine' just gave me 'Father of the Year'. I'll put it right up there with my gold medal. I survived; that's why they gave it to me.

I always like stories where the egg ends up on my face.

I never want to lose. I hate to lose... But Babe Ruth struck out 1,300 times. You can't hit the home run every time you come up to bat.

It's not even necessarily the will or want to win. It's the shame and embarrassment of losing.

When you're up there and everything feels good and you're competing against the pitcher and the pitcher strikes you out, you're like, 'OK, yeah, I struck out, but that's OK.'

I played baseball. I kind of sucked at that. They used to call me 'The Buntmaster' because my coach never wanted me to swing.

I used to spill things on my t-shirts, leaving oily dark spots down the front that I would try to hide with loose-fitting dress shirts. Nowadays all I have to do is tell everyone my son did it. I skirt the 'slob' moniker and instead look like a dedicated father who doesn't even have time to change.

In the movies, I never lost a fight. In baseball, I hardly ever won one.

Not only was I not the best catcher in the Major Leagues, I wasn't even the best catcher on my street!

I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.

Losing is the bane and bugbear of every professional athlete's existence, but in baseball the monster seems to hang closer than in other sports, its chilly claws and foul breath palpable around the neck hairs of the infielder bending for his crosshand scoop or the reliever slipping his first two fingers off-center on the ball seams before delivering his two-and-two cut fastball.

The baby woke up before you did. I took him to the other room to let you get a little more sleep. We've been watching a game." "Did he cry?" "Only when he realized the Astros were having another first-round play-off flame out. But I told him there's no shame in crying over the Astros. It's how we Houston guys bond.

You know you're pitching well when the batters look as bad as you do at the plate.

Frank went out for baseball and while he wasn't very good, it wasn't a total loss. The coach used him as a pattern to drawn the on-deck circle.

I thought I raised a ballplayer. You're nothing but a coward and a quitter.

I bowled a 129... It was like the Special Olympics or something!

I've got a black woolen hat and it's got Pervert written across the front of it. It's the name of the clothing label. And I was with my wife and my baby at the supermarket and I didn't think. I just put my hat on Clara's head, because it was cold. And the looks. I couldn't figure out why I was getting death looks. And then I realized my 10-month old baby's wearing a hat with the word Pervert written on it and these people were like, 'There's Satan! There's Satan out with his kid!' And then I made a point of her wearing it every time we went there.

I guess that's what Little League is all about -- trying.