Erma Bombeck Quotes

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.

Whenever someone says to my mum: 'How's your son doing?' she says: 'Which one?' If you're a parent, you're not going to go: 'Oh I'll concentrate on the famous one.'

I'm glad to say my father never felt ashamed of me, but my mother probably did.

My parents are not shy, clearly publicly and otherwise, in expressing their hopes that they will soon be grandparents.

The last thing I want my child to see is Dad running around in the middle of the pack. That would really upset me. And that would upset him. I would be embarrassed to take him to school with kids saying, 'Hey, how'd your dad do this weekend?' 'Well, he finished fifth or sixth'.

Some people found it difficult to understand my relationship with my father, but that may have been because they couldn't get beyond their relationship with their own parents.

My father was always slightly bemused by my success. Although he knew that I had reasonable intelligence, he always thought that I was a little bit lazy.

My parents always supported me, but I was put to task. My father thought when I sang, I was sharp; my mother was upset when I wasn't in the first line at recitals.

Nobody is going to be more disinterested in your work than your own kid.

In any kid's relationship with their parents, there's always an influence there. You always want to do them proud.

It's interesting having a son. Someone told me that it's good when you have a son first because when you have a daughter first and then a son, you think your son's slow. A lot of parents freak out because they've seen a daughter progress so quickly, and they think their male child is, like, damaged. But boys are just naturally slow.

When I was born, my mother was very disappointed. She wanted a son. I knew that from a very early age. So I was a tomboy.

'Bad mother' is probably the worst thing you can say to any woman who has children.

I liked the fact that my father had a lot of expectations from my brother. I probably wanted to be that person who he could be proud of.

I think, along with the great joy and excitement of having a child, it seems to be that the common themes are also a lot of doubt and fear and uncertainty about being a parent - and about how you might not live up to those expectations.

I get looks like I can't raise my child, but I can.

No one likes a pushy parent, and, 'pride' being one of the seven deadly sins, I needed to tread very carefully when creating a show about my eldest son, Tom, better known as Peter Parker and even better known as Marvel's new 'Spider-Man.'

It's not your responsibility to comment on parenting for others. I would hate if someone did that to me.

I'm sure all parents think their kids are funny, and I'm sure a lot of kids are, whether their parents are comics or not.

People forget how the same children brought up with affection, effort, and love are the ones who later kick their parents.

There were times when our dad was awesomely good with us, but my biggest and most abiding memory is that he would look more to our faults than to our strengths.

According to fathers, their kids are always good.

I have five children. There were four boys. The fifth, I got weak, and a girl came.

Stern and critical, my father couldn't accept how feminine and dainty I was in comparison to my rough-and-tumble brother.

Isn't a kid alive who doesn't dream about rewarding her folks, or punishing them.