Larry Wall Quotes

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Sometimes I wish I was just a simple drunkard.

Sometimes I wish that I hadn't learned how to crochet," I say, and Alice laughs. Obviously she thinks I'm joking, which is maybe for the best.

You make me wish that birth control was retroactive.

I used to be sure of things. Me, once i had all the answers. I wish i was a kid again, when i had all the answers

When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.

Sometimes I wish there were do over years or fast forward days

I did my best. I guess my best wasn't good enough.

How many times have we come away from an argument wishing we had said and done something different?

Didn't you ever notice how it's always people who wish they had somethin' or had done somethin' that hate the hardest?

I am the very slave of circumstance And impulse borne away with every breath! Misplaced upon the throne misplaced in life. I know not what I could have been, but feel I am not what I should be let it end.

This world can only give me reminders of what I don't have, can never have, didn't have for long enough.

I don't feel that I've accomplished anything. I feel that it'll be better when I won't care as much, but it's so difficult to let go and accept all the wrong notes.

I'd been told there are 10 difficult holes and eight impossible ones. I'm still trying to work out which the 10 difficult holes are.

The truth is, wherever you choose to be, it's the wrong place.

So here we are, talking about Roman unicycles and alien sandwiches and my sister’s Italian misfortunes, while hanging in between us is: MY EPIC FAILURE TO CARPE. What’s wrong with me?

What gets me is, I waited in line for an hour to do this. I could have experienced essentially the same level of enjoyment merely by sticking my finger down my throat.

Sometimes when relationships end, you write an e-mail and say everything you wish you said. Sometimes you don't push send.

What I really wanted was the impossible.

Believe me, I wish this song was yours instead of mine.

An adventure is something that while it's happening you wish it wasn't.

People are terrified of other people or difficult projects because they tell themselves that they could fail or be rejected. Failure can lead to sorrow, regret, frustration and annoyance-all healthy feelings without which people couldn't exist.

There have been a few moments when I have known complete satisfaction, but only a few. I have rarely been free from the disturbing realization that my playing might have been better.

What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.

Thanks to my computer, I have now achieved a much higher state of disorganization.