Jerome K. Jerome Quotes

Some people are under the impression that all that is required to make a good fisherman is the ability to tell lies easily and without blushing; but this is a mistake. Mere bald fabrication is useless; the veriest tyro can manage that. It is in the circumstantial detail, the embellishing touches of probability, the general air of scrupulous - almost of pedantic - veracity, that the experienced angler is seen.

Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.

Nowadays three witty turns of phrase and a lie make a writer.

I'm an actor, but I am an awful liar.

Anybody who claims to read the entire paper every day is either the world's fastest reader or the world's biggest liar.

For me, the facts in anything are always secondary. You don't lie convincingly with the truth. You lie convincingly with being a good liar.

Novel-writing is a bit like deception. You lie as little as you possibly can. That's the way I do it, anyway.

I have a hard time keeping a story straight when I tell the truth because when you start lying you have to remember what you said, and I'm not very good at that.

I love to invent - avoiding the truth. I need to dramatize.

I don't think I'm an intentional liar, but I'm a little bit of an exaggerator sometimes. If I'm exaggerating, and the journalist exaggerates on top of that, then we end up in funny territory.

Apparently, I am a bit of an exaggerator when I tell stories. But I don't call them lies; I say they are better, funnier truths.

I'm more of an exaggerator than a liar.

I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I speak the truth, and they never believe me.

Even though I'm an actor, I'm a very bad liar.

We've all grown wary of being lied to online - let's face it, dudes are always exaggerating their heights - so trust is a hot commodity.

You better have your story down before you take it to a teenager.

A lot of rappers lie about who and what they are.

Telling lies is the easy bit, but telling the truth and pretending you are lying is hard.

Oh.' I shot upright. 'I was in Mongolia.' Note to self: learn to be a less extreme liar.

You become uneasy with people in direct proportion to how many lies you have to keep track of in their presence.

I certainly don't believe you documentary filmmakers. Like me, you are involved in making fiction, and your fiction is just as well organized and just as well predicated, but the big difference between me and you is that I'm honest and you're dishonest. I know I'm telling you lies.

I didn't mislead people. I know I didn't lie and I have got to establish that.

After I’d told her – the mall, the taxi, Cross stroking my hair – she said, ‘Did he kiss you?’ ‘John and Martin totally would have seen that,’ I said, and as I felt myself implying the circumstances had prevented our kissing, I thought maybe this was why you told stories to other people – for how their possibilities enlarged in the retelling.

You can fool people some of the time, but you can't fool them all of the time.

There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberate Lie, why it was an Exaggerated Falsehood.