Larry Wall Quotes

Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.

Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, Can you please screw this up really bad?

I don't think anything of Laura Frank. You heard me - Laura Frank. Not Lawrence. Laura... It's not that I blame him, I just wish he'd go to a manly tactic and just fight me. Don't whine. When he whines, that's when I change his name of Lawrence Frank.

I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.

You are absolute angels of the first order. If I were Pope, I’d canonize you.” “The Pope would probably love to turn a cannon on you!

People think I hate Billy Martin. I don't. I hate some of the things he did. And I will say I don't understand him. Billy Martin is not an intellectual, but there is a cunningness to him that is something to behold.

Taylor clapped three times for attention. "Ladies! Ladies! My stars! That's enough. Now. We all know Miss Arkansas's girls are fake, Miss Ohio's easier than making cereal, and Miss Montana's dress is something my blind meemaw would wear to bingo night." - "Beauty Queens

As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.

Ridicule often checks what is absurd, and fully as often smothers that which is noble.

A lot of God-loving people think that killing people who don't agree with them is OK.

People only attack when they see weakness or when they think that someone is ashamed of it or embarrassed and they can't wait to stick it to 'em.

Lots of people look up to Billy Martin. That's because he just knocked them down.

The reigning Miss Canada has been arrested for punching out another woman in a bar fight.Quite frankly, I think it's refreshing to finally find one beauty pageant winner who is against world peace.

I'd like to think that I'd helped people all over the world to question the things they otherwise would have accepted as the truth. I'd also like to think that I'd charmed them a bit with my lovely vocal stylings and the baring of my lovely arse.

Even play has ended in fierce strife and anger.

Competition is a tough weed, not a delicate flower.

Being a King sort of sucks," I said. Quentin wrinkled his nose, "So does your outfit." "Blood is in this season.

You won," Four mutters. "Stop." I wipe the sweat from my forehead. He stares at me. His eyes are too wide; they look alarmed.

Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous.

People like you should be stopped, Mr. Woodrow,' she mused aloud, with a puzzled shake of her wise head. 'You think you're solving the world's problems but actually you're the problem.

Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'

A small but noteworthy note. I've seen so many young men over the years who think they're running at other young men. They are not. They are running at me.

The competition is not really friendly or peaceful. It leads to oppression in some ways.

I'm not a pacifist. I think the suffering of innocent people can be a catalyst for moral action. But empathy puts too much weight on the scale in favor of war. Empathy can really lead to violence.