Jules Feiffer Quotes

If men want sex they'll find it.

It's a very good feeling to be around a man who thinks women are juicy.

The big mistake that men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty, they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at twenty-one than you did at ten.

A writer who presents men and women as creatures truncated below the waist is exposed as one who goes about without his trousers saying, 'see, I have had my testicles removed.'

I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.

One of the things that struck me about the 1870s, which we still haven't nearly addressed, is what to do about the male-female divide. One of the forbidden topics is when men own up to the omnivorousness of their sexual interest and how to square that with being in love with an individual woman.

I think its feminism. If it’s tied to the last 50 years—the average size of a male’s member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years ago—it has to be the feminazis, the chickafication, and everything else.

My weakness is women.

What we've learned from the whole election cycle of 2016 President elections is men and women, men particularly, are pretty comfortable talking about women in terms that - I think it's hard for me to not believe this has been influenced by fifty years of open pornography and that kind of culture.

Girls get screwed. Not that kind of screwed, what I mean is, they're always on the short end of things. The way things work, how guys feel great, but make girls feel cheap for doing exactly what they beg for. The way they get to play you, all the while claiming they love you and making you believe it's true. The way it's okay to gift their heart one day, a backhand the next, to move on to the apricot when the peach blushes and bruises. These things make me believe God's a man after all.

The great truth is that women actually like men, and men can never believe it.

Maybe it's just L.A., but [high school girls] look like men, like they would have kids and s - t.

Discontented women dream of being rescued by Prince Charming. Discontented men dream of finding a horny blond in the back seat ofa taxi.

People say I think too much about women, yet, after all what is there more important to think about?

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women

Hey! Shouts Camel. There ain't no woman in the world worth two bottles of whiskey!

Women," Mat declared as he rode Pips down the dusty, little-used road, "are like mules." He frowned. "Wait. No. Goats. Women are like goats. Except every flaming one thinks she's a horse instead, and a prize racing mare to boot. Do you understand me, Talmanes?" "Pure poetry, Mat," Talmanes said, tamping the tabac down into his pipe.

Women, for centuries not having access to pornography and now unable to bear looking at the muck on the supermarket shelves, are astonished. Women do not believe that men believe what pornography says about women. But they do. From the worst to the best of them, they do.

I can't believe this, I'm arguing with a woman!

If I were you boys, I wouldn't talk or even think about women. It ain't good for your health.

Put any woman in an area run mostly by men and rumors will fly. Unless you make it very clear that you are off limits, there is also a certain competitiveness that sets in. Some men are either trying to run you out of town or get into your pants. They don't seem to know any other way to deal with a woman. If you're not a sexual object, you're a threat.

All the decent people, male and female, are feminists. The only people who are not feminists are those who believe that women are inherently inferior or undeserving of the respect and opportunity afforded men. Either you are a feminist or you are a misogynist. There is no box marked "other."

The plight of the actor, even if he's a star, is the plight of the women's movement. They're saying the same thing to us: get into bed, give me a good time, then give me something to eat, go get the laundry, be a good girl.

I find that those men who are personally most polite to women, who call them angels and all that, cherish in secret the greatest contempt for them.

It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels.