Stephen Leacock Quotes

I'm a perfect example of the grumpy, old man. I'm really good at it.

I don't mind being older. I'm proud of my age. I've achieved a lot. It's the same thing with Mick and the Stones. They should be revered and respected. Isn't it strange that now we're living longer we have so much less respect for old age? Perhaps it's a less valuable commodity?

I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise.

You may be old, you may be in your third act, but you can still be vital and sexual and funny. Life isn't over.

If a child is inclined to be grasping, or to cling to any of his or her little possessions, legends are related about the contempt and disgrace falling upon the ungenerous and mean person.

I think, being an actress, you know that you're getting old. I'm 44. I mean, an agent said when I turned 40, "It won't get better."

All those people who go around saying Life begins at forty, they're notable by their absence. The nerve.

Don't look at me like I've gotten old or something like that.

We who are old know that age is more than a disability. It is an intense and varied experience, almost beyond our capacity at times, but something to be carried high.

Longevity in my family's been pretty good. And my grandparents were pretty spry at their age, so I figured I'd probably stay skinny and fairly agile. I used to do old men all the time in sketches. And there used to be an organization called the Gray Panthers. And they would send me, oh, terrible letters about making fun of old people. And I would just always say, "I'm playing the old person I intend to become!"

Those who respect age, deserve to live to be old, and to be respected themselves.

To grow old means to be rid of anxieties about the past.

Being seventy is not a sin. It's not a joy, either.

Wisdom and white hair might not be as valued [in our society] as in different cultures.

Dignity, high station, or great riches, are in some sort necessary to old men, in order to keep the younger at a distance, who are otherwise too apt to insult them upon the score of their age.

I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.

...it is so silly of people to fancy that old age means crookedness and witheredness and feebleness and sticks and spectacles and rheumatism and forgetfulness! It is so silly! Old age has nothing whatever to do with all that. The right old age means strength and beauty and mirth and courage and clear eyes and strong painless limbs.

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

Mostly, what I have learned so far about aging, despite the creakiness of one's bones and cragginess of one's once-silken skin, is this: Do it. By all means, do it.

I was an old man when I was 12; and now I am an old man, AND IT'S SPLENDID!

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!

People think being in your seventies means sitting around in a chair with a blanket over your legs, drooling.

An old man at school is a contemptible and ridiculous object.

I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me.

I just got diagnosed with tendonitis which is such an insulting diagnosis. Just point to my shoulder and say "old."