Albert Ellis Quotes

Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.

The problem is not what other people think, do or say; it is your reaction.

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful or greedy. Unless you let him.

It makes sense that no one else can cause you pain. That's your job.

You, and you alone, get to determine whether you are going to react positively about something or negatively about something - or, interestingly, have no reaction at all. Your emotions are entirely under your control. Your feelings are what you want them to be.

Know that no one is capable of making you upset without your consent.

Our anger and annoyance are more detrimental to us than the things themselves which anger or annoy us.

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

Nobody can make you angry without your consent, nobody can disappoint you without your consent, you have to give people consent to do these things.

I am subject to very powerful lows. When you have highs, you have terrible lows. When you pinpoint that you are responsible for everything that happens to you, it is very frightening.

I used to have to think about awful things to get myself emotionally connected to something.

You're the only one that's in control of your emotions; you're the only one that's inside of you at all times. So control you however you want to. If you're not happy, that's your fault.

The indulgence in grief is a blunder.

Do not allow negative feelings and emotions to control your mind. Emotional harm does not come from others; it is conceived and developed within ourselves.

You don't want to cry over yourself, you don't want to have compassion about yourself. It's not the right place.

My dad always says, some people will treat you badly and you can't help that. But how you handle it and how it makes you feel, that's up to you.

No one else 'makes us angry.' We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test.

Rage is for little wrongs; despair is dumb.

Obviously, circumstances alone do not make us happy or unhappy. It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings. Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is within you. That is where the kingdom of hell is, too.

A big lesson that I'm always having to be reminded of is, you can't control how you feel, but you can control how you respond.

Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain.

No-one can disappoint you, only your thoughts about them can

Throughout the ordeal, I learned that getting mad was easier than being sad. Anger was something I could control. I could settle into an easy rhythm of blame and hate. Focus my energy on something than the ache in my heart.

Do nothing in a depressed mood, nor as one afflicted, nor as thinking that you are in misery, for no one compels you to that.

Emotions come and go and can't be controlled so there's no reason to worry about them. That in the end, people should be judged by their actions since in the end it was actions that defined everyone.