Erma Bombeck Quotes

Parents like the idea of kids, they just don't like their kids.

Parents have to understand: if your kid isn't you, don't blame the kid.

Children don’t need beating. They need love and encouragement. They need fathers to whom they can look with respect rather than fear. Above all, they need example.

Raising a child is like taking care of someone who's on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad.

This mother needs happy, reputable children, and that one needs unhappy ones: otherwise she cannot show her kindness as a mother.

I spent a lot of time reading blogs by mothers who had children with varying degrees of neural dysfunction, from schizophrenia to all sorts of different issues. And honestly, I don't think it's different for anybody. There's no right way to make sure your child will be emotionally and mentally healthier. It's just frustrating.

You need a whole community to raise a child. I have raised two children, alone.

My daughter is, of course, perfect. Everyone's child is, but mine really is perfect. But I could not have raised her without my parents. From the time she was seven months until now, I have been a single parent.

Studies show that children best flourish when one mom and one dad are there to raise them.

Parents, you know, can be terrible.

Most children turn out badly because they have the wrong parental image. This doesn't mean their parents are criminal. It means they are boring and cruel.

If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much.

I think children learn from example. I don't believe in raising them in an authoritative atmosphere.

We need to do whatever it takes to get our children together and pay attention to them, because that's our future. What's in the hearts and minds of our children is what's in our future.

I set out to write an anti-parenting parenting book.

From a child's point of view, there is rarely a great time for parents to separate, even if there has been a lot of commotion and fighting.

All parents are concerned about their children's well-being. As a parent of three kids, I'm very concerned about their well-being.

Modern parents want to nurture so skillfully that Mother Nature will gasp in admiration at the marvels their parenting produces from the soft clay of children.

If you bungle raising your children, nothing else matters in life.

Nobody's gonna be a perfect parent, you know? We're all doing the best we can.

I have two kids, and anyone who has a kid in order to feel loved is going to be in trouble because kids are first and foremost all about themselves. They'll say they love you, but 10 seconds later they'll turn on you.

That undeniable love for your child... that's something I totally get. And the bumps in the road, too. Like, any parent that thinks they have a perfect relationship with their child is a liar, or they're just not present.

Our kids come first, and we really put them at the top of our priority list.

I am a father who never pushes or forces his children into anything.

I understand that every parent wants the best for their child because I want the best for my children too.