Dave Barry Quotes

If I see something sagging, bagging or dragging I'll get it nipped, tucked or sucked.

I've had a face-lift. I've had my eyes done; liposuction; the nose job - well, that was a long time ago.

Yes, I've had my lips done, and I'm happy with my lips.

Plastic surgery is one of the ways that people deal with the aging process. And I don't mean by using it as a form of denial, but as a kind of negotiation with it.

It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor

I see women in their 30s getting plastic surgery, pulling this up and tucking that back. It's like a slippery slope - once you start you pull one thing one way and then you think, 'Oh my God, I've got to do the other side.'

I'm not a fan of fillers at all. If you've gone 35 or 40 years without big lips, I don't think it's time to start plumping them up artificially.

I haven't had my teeth fixed, I haven't had a hair transplant. I haven't had a skin peel, tummy tuck. I've done literally nothing.

There has been speculation through the years that Elvis has his eyes done or some other mystery procedure, but that mini facelift was the extent of his plastic surgery.

I laughed and laughed so much my lip burst open and collagen filler started to dribble out. I'd had a bit too much filler put in the week before.

I have had Botox a few times, but invasively the worst thing I've had done was when they took a bit of fat from my love handles and injected it in my face.

In our profession if you've got an ugly mark or there's anything that cosmetic surgery can do for you I think it's absolutely fine. I would consider it, but I've been very lucky not to have to.

Nothing makes you look older than attempting to look young. You can fool anyone, apart from the young. The worst are the lip operations. There are people who have it done and I don't recognise them afterwards. They look like they flew through the windscreen during a car accident and were patched up badly afterwards.

Cosmetic surgery processes the bodies of woman-made women, who make up the vast majority of its patient pool, into man-made women.

[On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.

I notice that the number of cosmetic-surgery operations has risen by 34 per cent in the past year. Once we subtract Jordan, Jodie Marsh and Michael Jackson from those figures, we can see that demand overall may have stabilised.

I don't happen to approve of plastic surgery. I think God put plastic surgeons on this earth for good reasons - people get burned or people might have a nose like Pinocchio and that has to be fixed. But to just chop yourself up to look a few years younger? You could come out looking like a Picasso picture. And you still have your hands to contend with. If you're 70, no one is going to think you're 35. The whole concept is kind of stupid.

I still do Juvederm for my lips. I go to Dr. Ourian in Beverly Hills. He's the best, and he's super natural about it.

I had a friend who was a plastic surgeon, so he would do little things. I never had, like, a full thing. So I would go in maybe once every two or three years, and he'd do a little here, a little there; tweak you, like you tweak your car. Then I became the plastic surgery poster girl.

I think it is rather 'unsexy' to go under the knife and modify your appearance.

I've had a little plastic surgery. I've had a little lipo. I've had a little Botox. And you know what? None of it works. None of it.

I've had the two procedures that probably every other woman in Hollywood has had done.

I can 100 percent tell you that I have not gone under the surgeon's knife or had a facelift.

I have done Botox, and I loved it.

Cosmetic surgery - it's boring and expensive, and the only thing it could do is give me another face.