Jake LaMotta Quotes

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

Have you ever thought about letting Cheesus into your Life?

How much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize?

I hesitate to say I was the class clown, but that was kind of how I interacted with other kids in school, and I very much appreciated the responses I got. The validation of laughter is often a very heavy psychological balm.

I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I'm in the company of good friends, but I'm not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious.

There's a lot of laughing on a horror movie set. They're magical in that way.

Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.

I caught the look Benjamin gave me. "What?" "Nothing. We just thought a svetocha would be more, well, difficult." Leon's mouth twitched. "I do seriously want a slushie." I tried a tentative smile. I definitely liked him now. "I haven't had one in ages. Maybe the guys outside—the double blonds—would want one, too?" For some reason Leon found that utterly fricking hysterical. He snorted and chuckled all the way through Housewares to the Health and Beauty section, and even Benjamin unbent enough to grin.

I want to make people think, and I don't want to come across like I am egotistical or that I want to change people's thoughts. I don't believe that as a comic I can convert anyone's opinion. I think I can maybe make someone look in one direction or the other but I can't make a religious person stop believing in God.

I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.

Improvisation is about finding the best joke or the silliest way to get something across. Improvising conflict is always fun because you can just go for it.

In a funny way, I like the past, I'm a very nostalgic person.

I should be a postage stamp. That’s the only way I’ll ever get licked!

being funny is a way of being liked and a way of dealing with sadness.

Whenever I travel I like to keep the seat next to me empty. I found a great way to do it. When someone walks down the aisle and says to you, "Is someone sitting there?" just say, "No one except the Lord."

I'm always the guy on tour that tries to get guys chatting and a lot of banter back and forth so I definitely feel that a lot of bodybuilders have that comedic side in them, they're just a little bit more introverted.

I laughed, loud enough that Delia looked up at me. She made motions for me to come over, but I pretended to be looking past her into the food tent. "Hurry. Pretend you're pointing something out so I can pretend not to see her." Luke put a hand on my shoulder and pointed with the other towards the sky. "Look, the moon." "That was the best you could come up with?" I demanded.

Humor is an amazing way to talk people down off a ledge.

I always thought I was funny, but I was very sensitive, and very provocative just to get a rise out of people.

No man with a sense of humor ever founded a religion.

During his long political career, my father was always active in communicating the Christian gospel from the evangelical perspective.

Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

Doing actual comedic material is just about the most joyful endeavor ever. That's the truth. The only time it's not funny is when business gets in the way.

There are many different ways of being funny. I'm not sure that there's so many different ways of being dramatic.

What did you do?” “Well, you see, there was this pot of tea, simply sitting there…” He trailed off. “Useful thing, tea,” commented Lyall thoughtfully.