Douglas Coupland Quotes

Cynicism is often the shamefaced product of inexperience.

I think that if a person doesn't feel cynical then they're out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization - you can't just swallow it whole.

every seven miles, in America, there is at least one McDonald's. Not a hospital, mind you, or a police station, but a McDonald's, every seven miles. I mean, that's sort of scary, if you think about it.

Cynicism is cheap - you can buy it at any Monoprix store - it's built into all poor-quality goods.

To see every day how people get the name 'genius' just as the wood-lice in the cellar the name 'millipede'-not because they have that many feet, but because most people don't want to count to 14-this has had the result that I don't believe anyone any more without checking.

There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.

There are plenty of eyewitness accounts, just because you're so narrow-minded you need to have everything shoved under your nose before you-

Uh, my lord, I am not actually food. You do realize this, yes?

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'

Don't ask me how I am,' I blurt. 'Please.' I want to keep feeling good. Just because the lights are on doesn't mean I have to look.

I think comedy's often the little and the large, isn't it?

I like to walk down Bond Street, thinking of all the things I don't desire.

Let me tell you something. As we were walking around in the store, Marilyn and I were just really impressed by all the novelties and the different types of little things that you could get for Christmas. And all the people that would help you, they were dressed up in things that said 'I believe in Santa Claus.' And the only thing that I could think is that I believe in George Bush.

[My father] was more than apprehensive. He didn't think I stood a chance in hell. He had no confidence in me whatsoever and was convinced that I was going to be coming to him for money when I was 40. We argued about it constantly.

This is always history's greatest failure, its inability to believe what it sees, what, almost always, someone sees.

You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause!

A high standard of living is usually accompanied by a low standard of thinking.

A dull head thinks of no better way to show himself wise, than by suspecting everything in his way.

Oh, Cena. You must think that I was born yesterday.

Oh, that's just great. I come all the way back here, risking major brain cell burnout, and you don't even believe me? I'm basically guaranteeing myself a lifetime of heartbreak, and all you have to say is that you think I'm not right in the head?

Daisy looked up at him with the kind of expression that Jesus might have given someone who had just explained that he was probably allergic to bread and fishes, so could He possibly do him a quick chicken salad.

I was thinking." "I see no evidence of that, Jared." Kami said.

When I see those ads with the quote 'You'll have to see this picture twice,' I know it's the kind of picture I don't want to see once.