John Ciardi Quotes

Find you, love you, marry you, and live without shame.

I'm going to marry you one day, you know." "Is that a promise?" "If you want it to be.

I don't believe in marriage. I believe in a commitment that you make in your heart. There's no paper that will make you stay.

[...] marriage is one thing, and love is another...You need to have a solid canvas; nobody stops you to weave the arabesques.

To many women marriage is only this. It is merely a physical change impinging on their ordinary nature, leaving their mentality untouched, their self-possession intact. They are not burnt by even the red fire of physical passion - far less by the white fire of love.

Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?

You seem to be absolutely unaware of the phenomenon of marriage - which is destructive to both man and woman. Love is creative, marriage is destructive. But love is not dependable: this moment it may be there and the next moment gone. And man wants permanent things; he is obsessed with permanent things. He wants security, safety, he wants to cling. Hence love is not reliable, so he created marriage.

If I were really, truly in love with someone who was truly in love with me, then I would get married, but that would be the only reason I'd get married.

Marriage is all right, but I think it's carrying love a little bit too far.

The whole idea of love is scary - so is being with someone for the rest of your life and being happy with them for the rest of your life. There's lots of research to suggest that, actually, love's not really that simple.

Which one of the three candidates would you want your daughter to marry?

The most important thing - and I've said it a hundred times and I'll say it a hundred times - if you marry a man, marry the right one.

It was never my intention to marry anybody. Economics are basically the only reason to get married, but I'm very glad I did it.

A woman doesn't just love a man. She loves who he is. And, who he is is dependent on what he needs.

The man as he converses is the lover; silent, he is the husband.

Women want love to be a novel, men a short story.

I'm also interested in the modern suggestion that you can have a combination of love and sex in a marriage - which no previous society has ever believed.

I don't need to be married, but I feel married.

'Tis safest in matrimony to begin with a little aversion.

The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.

I'm getting married because I'm in love with a girl and want to spend my life with her. You can't live your life doing what other people want you to or you'll be miserable. At some point you just have to be yourself.

Being in a successful marriage is no different than being cast in a successful movie. It's all about who you pick; in that first moment, did you pick the right person? I think you need to pick somebody who's more interested in being married than in getting married.

I think biologically we are attracted to more than one person, but given society and our needs, monogamy works better.

What's the difference between sex and love? I have four wives and five kids. I apparently don't know the difference.

I'm not one to run around with different girls. I like someone that makes me feel good and that I can make feel good.