Mignon McLaughlin Quotes

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

If you knew my wife, you'd be like, 'Yeah, you're very married.' She runs the household. I refer to her as 'the greatest director I've ever worked with.'

An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.

Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant. Of a teacher and a learner.

Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.

Behind every great man is his wife trying to keep him alive.

My husband thinks he's compromising if we have one cook instead of three.

It turns out that a husband who does the laundry, it's very romantic when you're older. And it's hard to believe when you're younger. But it's absolutely true.

In some ways, what I need is a wife.

I don't see anything degrading about marriage or homemaking, but my husband and I pool the money we earn, along with the jobs around the house.

Each couple's version of intimacy is so fascinating to me. A friend will tell me about her marriage, and I'll think, 'Yikes, they have horrible communication! They're going to get divorced!' And then I'll hear about them at another time and think, 'Wow, they love each other so much!'

We don't put gender roles on our marriage and our relationship. If I'm working a lot and Cory's home, he will put Cree to bed, and if dishes need to be washed, he will wash them. So it's not like, 'Oh, I'm going to wait until my wife gets home, and she's going to be doing all that.'

I am not against marriage -- I am for love. If love becomes your marriage, good; but don't hope that marriage can bring love. That is not possible. Love can become a marriage. You have to work very consciously to transform your love into a marriage. Ordinarily, people destroy their love. They do EVERYTHING to destroy it and then they suffer. And they go on saying, 'What went wrong?' They destroy -- they do everything to destroy it.

Many husbands today pitch in to help with household chores - it's called partnership.

Men are all right for friends, but as soon as you marry them they turn into cranky old fathers, even the wild ones.

Get thee a good husband, and use him as he uses thee.

Two business women can 'make a home' together without either one being over-burdened or over-bored. It is because they both know how and both feel responsible. But it is a rare man who can marry one of them and continue the home-making partnership.

Some people get married and they remain "I," some get married and become "we."

Marriage is not a reform school.

In every marriage the wife has to keep her mouth shut about at least one small thing her husband does that disgusts her.

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

I'm a person who's been in a long-term relationship. It's not surprising that a lot of my friends - whether they're in same-sex relationships or not, whether they're married officially or just in a long-term relationship - have really interesting and various stages in their relationship. My life is looking at these friendships and saying, "Wait a minute, isn't this something really interesting? How can I explore this?"

Even cohabitation has been corrupted - by marriage.

I would be content being a housewife if I could find the kind of man who wouldn't treat me like one.

A man should have two wives: one to love and one to sew on his buttons.