Henry Cloud Quotes

My love affair with (him) had a wonderful element of romance to it, which I will always cherish. But it was not an infatuation, and here’s how I can tell: because I did not demand that he become my Great Emancipator or my Source of All Life, nor did I immediately vanish into that man’s chest cavity like a twisted, unrecognizable, parasitical homonculus. During our long period of courtship, I remained intact within my own personality, and I allowed myself to meet (him) for who he was.

The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other.

It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them.

I hope it's enabling me to deal with another human being who's more important to me than I am.

A lot of people hurl themselves into relationships to lose themselves, but I think the best relationships help us to be more ourselves, to bring forth our best selves.

Too many people get married and lose themselves. You have to fiercely hold on to who you are, and you need to celebrate that in the other person because that's what made you fall in love in the first place.

Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'

It's important to fall in love with someone you don't want to change.

In the past I would self destruct when it came to love - I was immature, throwing myself into things but now times have changed, I want a relationship where you understand the other person.

As I get older I realize what qualities are important in love and what suits me. And what I won't settle for.

I think there's a big difference between loving someone out of duty and dependency and loving someone because you really are able to sort of grow and be whole in the context of that relationship.

I don't believe I've ever truly been in love because I don't believe that I've known myself well enough in the past to allow someone to love me.

Real love makes you more of an individual. It does not efface your individuality, it gives you individuality. Real love is very respectful.

No human being can ever 'own' another, whether in friendship, love, marriage, or parenthood.

Autonomy... is freedom to develop one's self - to increase one's knowledge, improve one's skills, and achieve responsibility for one's conduct. And it is freedom to lead one's own life, to choose among alternative courses of action so long as no injury to others results.

That is what marriage really means; helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.

Love is a component of many different things - the baggage you bring, the moment, what you need in your life, seeing someone as a portal for understanding everything, and all the intensity that brings. It's not something to count on and act like it's a stable thing.

Feel what you feel, know what you know, and set your relatives free to do the same.

At which point should we let go and do what we want to do, and when should we submit to rules? Coming to terms with our true natures and who we really are has always been a fascination to humans. I know it fascinates me.

You can never control other people. You can only control yourself. I have definitely learned that.

I don't think you can really, truly be the partner you want to be until you know on an absolute level that you are a complete person on your own.

I know now that there are men out there who are, for me, the whole package, who are supportive of my successes because they know I will be just as supportive of theirs. I'm less tolerant of foolishness now; I know that it's important I not tie myself up with the wrong person, because then I will miss the right person coming along.

We do not exist for ourselves alone, and it is only when we are fully convinced of this fact that we begin to love ourselves properly and thus also love others.

I've been in many relationships in my life and learned a lot from them, good and bad.

I've never believed much in that holding hands kind of love. I've always thought that love is about two different personalities trying to confront life, trying to make sense of their responsibilities, to themselves, to each other, and to the wider society.